Hold on to your hat

So here's something rather interesting: why do we never see the Queen of Hearts' face? I also find it very interesting that the Queen of Hearts has a vault that looks a lot like the vault of hearts that Regina keeps. Could it be that Regina and the Queen of Hearts are the same person, existing in two different worlds?

Also, from the previews of next week's show, it looks like we'll find out more about what Snow White did to make the Evil Queen so angry at her.

And finally, what game is Mr. Gold playing? What, he agreed to a deal with Regina to screw over Mary Margaret? While also striking a deal with Emma to save her? Man, his motivations are murky and confusing.

Revised timeline:

1. Rumpelstiltskin kills the Dark One and acquires magic and power.
2. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with Jimminy and gives him turn-people-into-scary-ass-dolls potion. Said potion is accidentally used on Gepetto's parents; the Blue Fairy turns Jimminy into an immortal cricket and he becomes Gepetto's best friend.
3. Around this time (a little more than 60 years before the curse), Granny's father and brothers are slaughtered by a werewolf, who then bites Granny. Later, he returns and changes her into a werewolf. They marry, and go on to have a daughter who is also a werewolf. She is later killed by a hunting party, but not before she gives birth to Red, who starts becoming a werewolf at the full moon at the age of 13. From a wizard, Granny buys a red cloak that will prevent Red from changing into a werewolf. Also at some point, Granny's husband dies, as she is later referred to as "Widow Lucas". Granny's werewolfness eventually fades away, although she retains some things, like tracking ability (sense of smell).
4. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with James' parents to take one of their twins as a son for King George in exchange for a farm
5. The Evil Queen has love and loses it because of Snow White not being able to keep a secret (possibly Snow's father is responsible as well)
6. (This may occur somewhat earlier in the timeline) The summer palace is built for Snow White's mother
7. The Evil Queen marries Snow White's father
8. (Not sure exactly where in the timeline this one goes, but this seems a good guess as it is supposed to occur one year before the Nova-and-Grumpy story) Fairy-godmother-in-training Nova accidentally spills some fairy dust, and it lands on a dwarf egg. The egg immediately hatches and the dwarf inside it is born prematurely, looking around for Nova, whose face he saw while inside the egg. He is informed by another dwarf, Bossy, that dwarves do not fall in love, and, along with his seven brothers (Happy, Doc, Dopey, Sneezy, Bashful, Sneaky and Sleepy) who hatch a little bit later, is given basic dwarf orientation before being given a pick-axe which christens him "Dreamy" and is then sent to mine diamonds and fairy dust.
9. Snow White's father finds the genie, frees him, and takes him back to his palace for yuks
10. The Evil Queen fools the genie into thinking she loves him, and (with her father's help) gets him to murder Snow White's father for her.
11. The genie finds out the Evil Queen is a lying liar who lies, and wishes himself into every mirror she looks into.
12. At some point after the genie is wished into the mirror, the Queen of Hearts kidnaps the Evil Queen's father and hides him in Wonderland. She cons the Mad Hatter into taking her into Wonderland to rescue her father, and then leaves the Mad Hatter there, thus leaving his daughter Grace fatherless.
13. Snow White realises that the Evil Queen is out to get her (since she seemed to be perfectly trusting of the Evil Queen earlier when she was mourning her dad, but knows the Evil Queen wants to kill her not too long after when the Huntsman takes her into the woods)
14. The Evil Queen tells the Huntsman to kill Snow White; instead, he MacGyvers a help-summoning whistle for her and lets her go
15. (This one might have happened before the Huntsman took Snow into the woods, but given that there was a vengeance associated with Snow White using the powder that we didn't see when she was writing the letter to the Evil Queen before the Huntsman caught up with her in the woods, I would guess it happens at this stage of the story instead:) Snow White somehow acquires magic insect powder
16. Snow White starts living rough in the woods; in the winter she hides out one night in Granny and Red's barn during the full moon and is found by Red the next morning. Also that morning, Red and Snow discover that the wolf has massacred a bunch of men who were trying to kill it.
17. Red tells Snow White about the man she loves (Peter), and they decide to track the wolf during the daytime. Red turns out to be a fabulous tracker. The wolf tracks turn into boot tracks and lead to Red's window. Red and Snow White conclude that the wolf is a werewolf and that in its human form, it's Peter.
18. Snow and Red switch cloaks so that Red can warn Peter and chain him to a tree to keep him from killing or being killed
19. Granny discovers the ruse and confesses that the werewolf is actually Red and that the red cloak stops her from turning; Granny and Snow run out to find Red, but she is already munching on Peter. Granny drops the werewolf with a silver-tipped arrow and Snow throws the red cloak over her to change her back into Red. As the huntsmen close in, Snow spirits Red away, leaving Granny to face the music. (She obviously ends up okay, since she and Red are reunited in Prince Charming's castle.)
20. Snow White starts stealing gold and whatnot. (She seems to have picked up some badassery from Granny.) At some point after Snow White starts roughing it, Red seems to regularly bring helpful supplies to Snow White.
21. James' twin brother is killed trying to impress Midas.
22. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with King George to get James for him to replace the dead twin.
23. Presumably around this time, King George tells Rumpelstiltskin the location of Cinderella's fairy godmother as payment for getting James for him. At some point thereafter, Rumpelstiltskin poofs said fairy godmother, takes control of her wand, and gets Cinderella to agree to giving him her first-born son in exchange for prettying her up and getting her to the ball.
24. James kills a dragon and gets engaged to Abigail
25. James sees his mother for the last time and gets her lucky ring to give to his future wife
26. As James is making his way back from Midas' kingdom to his own, Snow ambushes his carriage and makes off with his mother's special ring. After a series of madcap adventures together, during which she uses up her insect powder, she gives him back his ring and they go their separate ways.
27. Snow White and James can't stop thinking about each other.
28. Snow White gets a forgetfulness potion from Rumpelstiltskin in exchange for some strands of her hair.
29. James sends Snow White her a letter by dove professing his love.
30. The Evil Queen kidnaps Hansel and Gretel's father and sends Hansel and Gretel to the blind witch's house to steal the poisoned apple
31. Hansel and Gretel deliver the apple to the Evil Queen and she offers to adopt them as her children. They refuse, and she casts them out into the forest.
32. (This part and the rest of the Belle story and the Grumpy-and-Nova story may actually take place earlier, but this placement seems as good a spot as any; I'll certainly move it if more information comes up that makes its placement more specific) The Ogre Wars are going extremely badly for some mayor guy. He makes a deal with Rumpelstiltskin to solve his ogre problem, in return for which his daughter Belle agrees to be Rumpelstiltskin's servant for life.
33. Belle gets to know Rumpelstiltskin and starts bringing him out of his shell. In the process, she chips one of his teacups. She also discovers that he had a son, but fails miserably to get him to ever talk about it. Chemistry between the two of them builds. At one point, Belle's old fiancé tries to "rescue" her, but Rumpelstiltskin turns him into a rose and gives it to Belle, who reveals that her betrothal was purely for political reasons. Eventually, Rumpelstiltskin sends Belle to market for him, fully believing she'll take advantage of this freedom to escape.
34. On the road to or from the market, Belle meets up with the Evil Queen, who tells her that true love's kiss breaks any curse.
35. Belle goes back to Rumpelstiltskin (which surprises the hell out of him) and kisses him. This makes Rumpelstiltskin start to change back into human form; he freaks out and thus stops the transformation. Belle triumphantly tells him about true love's kiss and he freaks out even more. He knows that the Evil Queen is behind this (wanting to eliminate his powers so she will have less magical competition, according to him) and believes that Belle is also out to get him. He has a tremendously impressive temper tantrum and kicks her out of his castle for good.
36. About a year after his birth, Dreamy sees Nova and they have instant chemistry. Nova asks Grumpy out on a date to see fireflies, which he doesn't recognize as a come-on.
37. Belle, drowning her sorrows over Rumpelstiltskin in drink, meets up with Dreamy at a bar and gives him a clue-by-four upside the head that he's in love and that Nova was actually asking him out.
38. Nova arranges for a boat so she and Dreamy can sail around the world.
39. Dreamy sneaks out to run away with Nova but is waylaid at the last minute by the Blue Fairy and Bossy, who convince him to forget being with Nova.
40. Dreamy meets up with Nova, who shows him the boat. He dumps her and heads back to the mine, where he is re-named Grumpy.
41. (This part may happen a bit later) For some reason, the dwarves stop living in the mines underground and start living in a cottage in the woods
42. (This part may happen before Belle meets Dreamy in the bar, it's not clear) The Evil Queen pays a visit to Rumpelstiltskin following his rejection of Belle and tells him (lying, obviously, but Rumpelstiltskin believes her) that Belle's been cast out by her father and killed. Rumpelstiltskin is devastated.
43. (This part may happen at any point between now and the Curse) Something happens to Belle in fairytale land which causes her to end up in a secret psych ward in the Storybrooke hospital once the Curse is enacted.
44. Grumpy is cast into King George's dungeon for some reason.
45. Snow White shows up at King George's palace and is captured, meeting Grumpy in a dungeon. Stealthy breaks them out and is killed trying to escape. Snow White saves Grumpy and meets with King George. King George tells Snow White to tell James she doesn't love him, and lets her in on the fact that James is not really his son. Snow accordingly breaks James' heart and leaves the castle.
46. The seven dwarves meet up with Snow as she leaves the castle and convince her not to use the forgetfulness potion immediately. This scene is viewed by the Evil Queen in her magic mirror.
47. The Evil Queen speaks to Hansel and Gretel's father and discovers that the secret of their happiness is the bond of being a family
48. (This could have happened earlier or later than this point, but I'm sticking it in here for convenience) The Evil Queen acquires the curse from Rumpelstiltskin (doubtless in a deal of some kind) and eventually trades it to Malificent in exchange for a poison to kill Snow White.
49. Abigail tells James about her past love, Frederick. James battles the siren of Lake Nostos. This allows Abigail to free Frederick and motivates James to try and win Snow White's love.
50. It becomes general knowledge that James and Abigail's engagement is off.
51. James goes to some woodland area trying to find Snow White. (I guess a little bird must have told him to go there.) Red Riding Hood tells him she's gone. King George, furious over the broken engagement, shows up with his posse and tries to kill James, who grabs Red Riding Hood and flees on horseback. Pursuit ensues.
52. James and Red manage to elude King George's men for a time, but are found after they make camp. To give James a headstart, Red tells him to go on alone and then, because there is a full moon, takes off her hood so she can fursplode and attack the soldiers. At least one survives as we see him later on with nasty scratches all over his face; it is not known whether Red escapes or is captured.
53. Snow White, however, has already taken the forgetfulness potion.
54. Unfortunately, this has the side effect of turning her into a right royal bitch. With the help of Jiminy Cricket, the dwarves stage an intervention to try and get her to be nice again, but only succeed in motivating her to kill the Evil Queen in cold blood.
55. Snow White waylays one of the Evil Queen's knights and finds out that the Evil Queen will soon be travelling to the summer palace.
56. Grumpy convinces Snow White to get help from Rumpelstiltskin
57. James happens upon the waylaid guardsman and finds out that Snow White will be trying to kill the Evil Queen on the way to the summer palace
58. Rumpelstiltskin says he can't bring back Snow White's personality or memories, but does, over Grumpy's objections, give her a bow and arrow to help her kill the Evil Queen with ("An arrow fired from this bow will give you exactly what you need. It always finds its target!")
59. James goes to Rumpelstiltskin to find out what's going on with Snow White. Rumpelstiltskin reveals that she took a forgetfulness potion which changed her. True love's kiss, however, will of course cure her. Rumpelstiltskin tells James where she is in exchange for James' cloak, and warns James that if Snow succeeds in killing the Evil Queen, she'll become as evil as her and James will never get her back.
60. James catches up to Snow White and kisses her without any effect whatsoever. Enraged, she decks him, knocks him out and ties him to a tree. She then tries to assassinate the Evil Queen, but James, freed by Jiminy Cricket, jumps in front of her arrow in order to save her from evil. Touched by his sacrifice for her, she kisses him and remembers everything.
61. Unfortunately, it's at this point that King George's soldiers catch up to James. They stuff him in a wheeled cage and take him away, leaving Snow White vowing to find him.
62. Rumpelstiltskin combines Snow White's hair with James' hair (which he tweezed off the cloak) and actually manages to bottle love. ("If you can bottle love, you can do anything.")
63. At some point, Snow White must rescue James. Given that they're not killed, they must work it out somehow so that James can end up marrying Snow White and still have a castle to live in - clearly that's a story in itself.
64. Snow White is poisoned by the Evil Queen, put into a coffin, and is brought back to life by a kiss from James
65. Snow White and James get married (she would have been given his mother's ring by this time); during the wedding, the Evil Queen threatens everyone with the curse
66. Cinderella and Thomas get married
67. Snow White gets pregnant
68. Cinderella gets pregnant
69. (This might have happened before Snow White and/or Cinderella got pregnant, or after Rumpelstiltskin is captured, it's not clear:) The Evil Queen steals the curse back from her buddy Maleficent and tries it with no effect
70. Cinderella, Thomas, and James conspire to imprison Rumpelstiltskin; Thomas disappears
71. While pregnant, Snow freaks out about the Evil Queen's threat; she and James visit Rumpelstiltskin and find out that their daughter will be the saviour in exchange for telling Rumpelstiltskin the baby's name, and then plans begin to send Snow away from the curse via an enchanted tree wardrobe
72. The Evil Queen visits Rumpelstiltskin to find out why his curse is a dud and, in exchange for a promise of being rich post-curse and the Evil Queen having to do anything he asks if he says please, he tells her that she needs to sacrifice the thing she loves most; she also discovers that the curse can be undone by Snow's baby
73. The Evil Queen offs her dad
74. The Evil Queen successfully enacts the curse as Snow White is in labour
75. Emma is born; James sends her to safety via the enchanted tree wardrobe
76. The Evil Queen arrives at James' palace, although not in time to grab the baby, and laughs maniacally as the curse takes effect
77. Everyone in the fairy tale world is sent to Storybrook and time stops for them
78. Around age 18, Emma gets knocked up with Henry. The father is likely a married man.
79. At some point during the pregnancy, Emma is sent to jail.
80. Henry is born in jail. Emma decides to give him up for adoption. At the same time, Regina decides she wants to adopt a baby. Rumplestiltskin is the gobetween and somehow acquires Emma's baby for Regina in exchange for an unknown favour from Regina.
81. Over the next ten years, Henry is presumably the only person in storybrook who ages, since he was a baby when he got there and a ten-year-old ten years later. Given that Cinderella's pregnancy never advances in the 28 years when Storybrook time is frozen, and given that Hansel and Gretel are the same age they were when Emma comes to town as they were when the curse took effect, none of the Storybrook people can have children during the time freeze, nor would the Storybrook children ever age. This would probably be very conclusive proof for Henry that things are majorly effed up in his home town; why he never points this out to Emma or anyone as proof that he's not delusional is beyond me.

Peter and the wolf

Diabolical!

So Regina's been doing her stealing-people's-hearts thing again, but instead of storing this one in her vault, she buried it near the toll bridge. Lots of questions here.

• Whose heart is it? We're meant to think it's Kathryn's of course, but I guess we have to wait for the DNA tests to come back on that one.
• Even if it is Kathryn's heart, does that necessarily mean she's dead? After all, Regina had Graham's heart in her vault, and he was still alive.
• It would seem that Regina is trying to frame Mary Margaret by putting her prints on the box, but is that really what's happening? How could Regina seriously expect anyone would find the box in order for any framing to actually work?
• Maybe that was just Regina's special hiding place for that particular heart, and Mary Margaret's prints are on it because she touched the box as Snow White during her time in fairytale land?
• What's the deal with David's weird blackouts? How did he get that cut on his head?

Also, if Red's grandfather-in-werewolf-form looked deeply into Granny's eyes and liked her enough to mark her instead of killing her, so he could come back later and change her to be his mate, why didn't Red do the same thing with Peter? I suppose technically, since no one actually checked Peter's pulse, that maybe that's just what she did, but he seemed pretty bloody and she seemed to be snacking on him rather a lot for him to be just "marked".

I also find it interesting that a lot of the people who were at Snow White and Prince James' what-the-heck-do-we-do-about-this-curse council were "picked up" by Snow White during her adventures - first the dwarves, now Granny and Red. Does this mean we can expect a future episode where she'll strike up friendships with Gepetto and Jiminy? Is this why Prince James still managed to have a castle and followers even though King George tried to kill him - because he and Snow acquired friends through their wonderfulness and brought them in to be members of their own kingdom? Are they actually rulers of some kind of rebel group of fairytale land folk?

And finally, I think Meghan Ory (Red/Ruby) might just be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Her face is exquisite. If I were a man (and straight), she would totally be on my List.

Revised timeline:

1. Rumpelstiltskin kills the Dark One and acquires magic and power.
2. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with Jimminy and gives him turn-people-into-scary-ass-dolls potion. Said potion is accidentally used on Gepetto's parents; the Blue Fairy turns Jimminy into an immortal cricket and he becomes Gepetto's best friend.
3. Around this time (a little more than 60 years before the curse), Granny's father and brothers are slaughtered by a werewolf, who then bites Granny. Later, he returns and changes her into a werewolf. They marry, and go on to have a daughter who is also a werewolf. She is later killed by a hunting party, but not before she gives birth to Red, who starts becoming a werewolf at the full moon at the age of 13. From a wizard, Granny buys a red cloak that will prevent Red from changing into a werewolf. Also at some point, Granny's husband dies, as she is later referred to as "Widow Lucas". Granny's werewolfness eventually fades away, although she retains some things, like tracking ability (sense of smell).
4. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with James' parents to take one of their twins as a son for King George in exchange for a farm
5. The Evil Queen has love and loses it because of Snow White not being able to keep a secret (possibly Snow's father is responsible as well)
6. The Evil Queen marries Snow White's father
7. (Not sure exactly where in the timeline this one goes, but this seems a good guess as it is supposed to occur one year before the Nova-and-Grumpy story) Fairy-godmother-in-training Nova accidentally spills some fairy dust, and it lands on a dwarf egg. The egg immediately hatches and the dwarf inside it is born prematurely, looking around for Nova, whose face he saw while inside the egg. He is informed by another dwarf, Bossy, that dwarves do not fall in love, and, along with his seven brothers (Happy, Doc, Dopey, Sneezy, Bashful, Sneaky and Sleepy) who hatch a little bit later, is given basic dwarf orientation before being given a pick-axe which christens him "Dreamy" and is then sent to mine diamonds and fairy dust.
8. Snow White's father finds the genie, frees him, and takes him back to his palace for yuks
9. The Evil Queen fools the genie into thinking she loves him, and (with her father's help) gets him to murder Snow White's father for her.
10. The genie finds out the Evil Queen is a lying liar who lies, and wishes himself into every mirror she looks into.
11. Snow White realises that the Evil Queen is out to get her (since she seemed to be perfectly trusting of the Evil Queen earlier when she was mourning her dad, but knows the Evil Queen wants to kill her not too long after when the Huntsman takes her into the woods)
12. The Evil Queen tells the Huntsman to kill Snow White; instead, he MacGyvers a help-summoning whistle for her and lets her go
13. (This one might have happened before the Huntsman took Snow into the woods, but given that there was a vengeance associated with Snow White using the powder that we didn't see when she was writing the letter to the Evil Queen before the Huntsman caught up with her in the woods, I would guess it happens at this stage of the story instead:) Snow White somehow acquires magic insect powder
14. Snow White starts living rough in the woods; in the winter she hides out one night in Granny and Red's barn during the full moon and is found by Red the next morning. Also that morning, Red and Snow discover that the wolf has massacred a bunch of men who were trying to kill it.
15. Red tells Snow White about the man she loves (Peter), and they decide to track the wolf during the daytime. Red turns out to be a fabulous tracker. The wolf tracks turn into boot tracks and lead to Red's window. Red and Snow White conclude that the wolf is a werewolf and that in its human form, it's Peter.
16. Snow and Red switch cloaks so that Red can warn Peter and chain him to a tree to keep him from killing or being killed
17. Granny discovers the ruse and confesses that the werewolf is actually Red and that the red cloak stops her from turning; Granny and Snow run out to find Red, but she is already munching on Peter. Granny drops the werewolf with a silver-tipped arrow and Snow throws the red cloak over her to change her back into Red. As the huntsmen close in, Snow spirits Red away, leaving Granny to face the music. (She obviously ends up okay, since she and Red are reunited in Prince Charming's castle.)
18. Snow White starts stealing gold and whatnot. (She seems to have picked up some badassery from Granny.) At some point after Snow White starts roughing it, Red seems to regularly bring helpful supplies to Snow White.
19. James' twin brother is killed trying to impress Midas.
20. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with King George to get James for him to replace the dead twin.
21. Presumably around this time, King George tells Rumpelstiltskin the location of Cinderella's fairy godmother as payment for getting James for him. At some point thereafter, Rumpelstiltskin poofs said fairy godmother, takes control of her wand, and gets Cinderella to agree to giving him her first-born son in exchange for prettying her up and getting her to the ball.
22. James kills a dragon and gets engaged to Abigail
23. James sees his mother for the last time and gets her lucky ring to give to his future wife
24. As James is making his way back from Midas' kingdom to his own, Snow ambushes his carriage and makes off with his mother's special ring. After a series of madcap adventures together, during which she uses up her insect powder, she gives him back his ring and they go their separate ways.
25. Snow White and James can't stop thinking about each other.
26. Snow White gets a forgetfulness potion from Rumpelstiltskin in exchange for some strands of her hair.
27. James sends Snow White her a letter by dove professing his love.
28. The Evil Queen kidnaps Hansel and Gretel's father and sends Hansel and Gretel to the blind witch's house to steal the poisoned apple
29. Hansel and Gretel deliver the apple to the Evil Queen and she offers to adopt them as her children. They refuse, and she casts them out into the forest.
30. (This part and the rest of the Belle story and the Grumpy-and-Nova story may actually take place earlier, but this placement seems as good a spot as any; I'll certainly move it if more information comes up that makes its placement more specific) The Ogre Wars are going extremely badly for some mayor guy. He makes a deal with Rumpelstiltskin to solve his ogre problem, in return for which his daughter Belle agrees to be Rumpelstiltskin's servant for life.
31. Belle gets to know Rumpelstiltskin and starts bringing him out of his shell. In the process, she chips one of his teacups. She also discovers that he had a son, but fails miserably to get him to ever talk about it. Chemistry between the two of them builds. At one point, Belle's old fiancé tries to "rescue" her, but Rumpelstiltskin turns him into a rose and gives it to Belle, who reveals that her betrothal was purely for political reasons. Eventually, Rumpelstiltskin sends Belle to market for him, fully believing she'll take advantage of this freedom to escape.
32. On the road to or from the market, Belle meets up with the Evil Queen, who tells her that true love's kiss breaks any curse.
33. Belle goes back to Rumpelstiltskin (which surprises the hell out of him) and kisses him. This makes Rumpelstiltskin start to change back into human form; he freaks out and thus stops the transformation. Belle triumphantly tells him about true love's kiss and he freaks out even more. He knows that the Evil Queen is behind this (wanting to eliminate his powers so she will have less magical competition, according to him) and believes that Belle is also out to get him. He has a tremendously impressive temper tantrum and kicks her out of his castle for good.
34. About a year after his birth, Dreamy sees Nova and they have instant chemistry. Nova asks Grumpy out on a date to see fireflies, which he doesn't recognize as a come-on.
35. Belle, drowning her sorrows over Rumpelstiltskin in drink, meets up with Dreamy at a bar and gives him a clue-by-four upside the head that he's in love and that Nova was actually asking him out.
36. Nova arranges for a boat so she and Dreamy can sail around the world.
37. Dreamy sneaks out to run away with Nova but is waylaid at the last minute by the Blue Fairy and Bossy, who convince him to forget being with Nova.
38. Dreamy meets up with Nova, who shows him the boat. He dumps her and heads back to the mine, where he is re-named Grumpy.
39. (This part may happen before Belle meets Dreamy in the bar, it's not clear) The Evil Queen pays a visit to Rumpelstiltskin following his rejection of Belle and tells him (lying, obviously, but Rumpelstiltskin believes her) that Belle's been cast out by her father and killed. Rumpelstiltskin is devastated.
40. (This part may happen at any point between now and the Curse) Something happens to Belle in fairytale land which causes her to end up in a secret psych ward in the Storybrooke hospital once the Curse is enacted.
41. Grumpy is cast into King George's dungeon for some reason.
42. Snow White shows up at King George's palace and is captured, meeting Grumpy in a dungeon. Stealthy breaks them out and is killed trying to escape. Snow White saves Grumpy and meets with King George. King George tells Snow White to tell James she doesn't love him, and lets her in on the fact that James is not really his son. Snow accordingly breaks James' heart and leaves the castle.
43. The seven dwarves meet up with Snow as she leaves the castle and convince her not to use the forgetfulness potion immediately. This scene is viewed by the Evil Queen in her magic mirror.
44. The Evil Queen speaks to Hansel and Gretel's father and discovers that the secret of their happiness is the bond of being a family
45. (This could have happened earlier or later than this point, but I'm sticking it in here for convenience) The Evil Queen acquires the curse from Rumpelstiltskin (doubtless in a deal of some kind) and eventually trades it to Malificent in exchange for a poison to kill Snow White.
46. Abigail tells James about her past love, Frederick. James battles the siren of Lake Nostos. This allows Abigail to free Frederick and motivates James to try and win Snow White's love.
47. It becomes general knowledge that James and Abigail's engagement is off.
48. James goes to some woodland area trying to find Snow White. (I guess a little bird must have told him to go there.) Red Riding Hood tells him she's gone. King George, furious over the broken engagement, shows up with his posse and tries to kill James, who grabs Red Riding Hood and flees on horseback. Pursuit ensues. (Given that they're not killed, they must work it out somehow so that James can end up marrying Snow White and still have a castle to live in - clearly that's a story in itself.)
49. Snow White, however, has already taken the forgetfulness potion.
50. At some point, the forgetfulness potion is reversed (Water from Lake Nostos, maybe?)
51. Snow White is poisoned by the Evil Queen, put into a coffin, and is brought back to life by a kiss from James
52. Snow White and James get married (she would have been given his mother's ring by this time); during the wedding, the Evil Queen threatens everyone with the curse
53. Cinderella and Thomas get married
54. Snow White gets pregnant
55. Cinderella gets pregnant
56. (This might have happened before Snow White and/or Cinderella got pregnant, or after Rumpelstiltskin is captured, it's not clear:) The Evil Queen steals the curse back from her buddy Maleficent and tries it with no effect
57. Cinderella, Thomas, and James conspire to imprison Rumpelstiltskin; Thomas disappears
58. While pregnant, Snow freaks out about the Evil Queen's threat; she and James visit Rumpelstiltskin and find out that their daughter will be the saviour in exchange for telling Rumpelstiltskin the baby's name, and then plans begin to send Snow away from the curse via an enchanted tree wardrobe
59. The Evil Queen visits Rumpelstiltskin to find out why his curse is a dud and, in exchange for a promise of being rich post-curse and the Evil Queen having to do anything he asks if he says please, he tells her that she needs to sacrifice the thing she loves most; she also discovers that the curse can be undone by Snow's baby
60. The Evil Queen offs her dad
61. The Evil Queen successfully enacts the curse as Snow White is in labour
62. Emma is born; James sends her to safety via the enchanted tree wardrobe
63. The Evil Queen arrives at James' palace, although not in time to grab the baby, and laughs maniacally as the curse takes effect
64. Everyone in the fairy tale world is sent to Storybrook and time stops for them
65. Around age 18, Emma gets knocked up with Henry. The father is likely a married man.
66. At some point during the pregnancy, Emma is sent to jail.
67. Henry is born in jail. Emma decides to give him up for adoption. At the same time, Regina decides she wants to adopt a baby. Rumplestiltskin is the gobetween and somehow acquires Emma's baby for Regina in exchange for an unknown favour from Regina.
68. Over the next ten years, Henry is presumably the only person in storybrook who ages, since he was a baby when he got there and a ten-year-old ten years later. Given that Cinderella's pregnancy never advances in the 28 years when Storybrook time is frozen, and given that Hansel and Gretel are the same age they were when Emma comes to town as they were when the curse took effect, none of the Storybrook people can have children during the time freeze, nor would the Storybrook children ever age. This would probably be very conclusive proof for Henry that things are majorly effed up in his home town; why he never points this out to Emma or anyone as proof that he's not delusional is beyond me.

Crazy dreamers

Things we learned in the "Dreamy" episode:

• In order to become a fairy godmother, you have to spend a long time training as a fairy.
• Apparently, all the fairies from fairytale land became nuns in Storybrooke. (Is this also true of fairy godmothers, I wonder?)
• Mr. Gold/Rumpelstiltskin has a hate-on for fairies. And fairy godmothers too, judging from what he did to Cinderella's fairy godmother. I wonder why, exactly? Is it just because they're magic-users in fairytale land and therefore his competition, or is there an interesting story behind his vendetta? (I'm guessing there's an interesting story.)
• Emma has no respect for the process of establishing a legitimate trail of evidence.
• All you need to do in Storybrooke to erase the stigma of a serious moral transgression is sell a lot of candles.

Revised timeline:

1. Rumpelstiltskin kills the Dark One and acquires magic and power.
2. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with Jimminy and gives him turn-people-into-scary-ass-dolls potion. Said potion is accidentally used on Gepetto's parents; the Blue Fairy turns Jimminy into an immortal cricket and he becomes Gepetto's best friend.
3. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with James' parents to take one of their twins as a son for King George in exchange for a farm
4. The Evil Queen has love and loses it because of Snow White not being able to keep a secret (possibly Snow's father is responsible as well)
5. The Evil Queen marries Snow White's father
6. (Not sure exactly where in the timeline this one goes, but this seems a good guess as it is supposed to occur one year before the Nova-and-Grumpy story) Fairy-godmother-in-training Nova accidentally spills some fairy dust, and it lands on a dwarf egg. The egg immediately hatches and the dwarf inside it is born prematurely, looking around for Nova, whose face he saw while inside the egg. He is informed by another dwarf, Bossy, that dwarves do not fall in love, and, along with his seven brothers (Happy, Doc, Dopey, Sneezy, Bashful, Sneaky and Sleepy) who hatch a little bit later, is given basic dwarf orientation before being given a pick-axe which christens him "Dreamy" and is then sent to mine diamonds and fairy dust.
7. Snow White's father finds the genie, frees him, and takes him back to his palace for yuks
8. The Evil Queen fools the genie into thinking she loves him, and (with her father's help) gets him to murder Snow White's father for her.
9. The genie finds out the Evil Queen is a lying liar who lies, and wishes himself into every mirror she looks into.
10. Snow White realises that the Evil Queen is out to get her (since she seemed to be perfectly trusting of the Evil Queen earlier when she was mourning her dad, but knows the Evil Queen wants to kill her not too long after when the Huntsman takes her into the woods)
11. The Evil Queen tells the Huntsman to kill Snow White; instead, he MacGyvers a help-summoning whistle for her and lets her go
12. (This one might have happened before the Huntsman took Snow into the woods, but given that there was a vengeance associated with Snow White using the powder that we didn't see when she was writing the letter to the Evil Queen before the Hutnsman caught up with her in the woods, I would guess it happens at this stage of the story instead:) Snow White somehow acquires magic insect powder
13. Snow White starts living rough in the woods and stealing gold and whatnot. At some point (either before or after her exile to the forest), Snow somehow helps Red Riding Hood "when no one else would" and they become friends. At some point after Snow White starts roughing it, Red seems to regularly bring helpful supplies to Snow White.
14. James' twin brother is killed trying to impress Midas.
15. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with King George to get James for him to replace the dead twin.
16. Presumably around this time, King George tells Rumpelstiltskin the location of Cinderella's fairy godmother as payment for getting James for him. At some point thereafter, Rumpelstiltskin poofs said fairy godmother, takes control of her wand, and gets Cinderella to agree to giving him her first-born son in exchange for prettying her up and getting her to the ball.
17. James kills a dragon and gets engaged to Abigail
18. James sees his mother for the last time and gets her lucky ring to give to his future wife
19. As James is making his way back from Midas' kingdom to his own, Snow ambushes his carriage and makes off with his mother's special ring. After a series of madcap adventures together, during which she uses up her insect powder, she gives him back his ring and they go their separate ways.
20. Snow White and James can't stop thinking about each other.
21. Snow White gets a forgetfulness potion from Rumpelstiltskin in exchange for some strands of her hair.
22. James sends Snow White her a letter by dove professing his love.
23. The Evil Queen kidnaps Hansel and Gretel's father and sends Hansel and Gretel to the blind witch's house to steal the poisoned apple
24. Hansel and Gretel deliver the apple to the Evil Queen and she offers to adopt them as her children. They refuse, and she casts them out into the forest.
25. (This part and the rest of the Belle story and the Grumpy-and-Nova story may actually take place earlier, but this placement seems as good a spot as any; I'll certainly move it if more information comes up that makes its placement more specific) The Ogre Wars are going extremely badly for some mayor guy. He makes a deal with Rumpelstiltskin to solve his ogre problem, in return for which his daughter Belle agrees to be Rumpelstiltskin's servant for life.
26. Belle gets to know Rumpelstiltskin and starts bringing him out of his shell. In the process, she chips one of his teacups. She also discovers that he had a son, but fails miserably to get him to ever talk about it. Chemistry between the two of them builds. At one point, Belle's old fiancé tries to "rescue" her, but Rumpelstiltskin turns him into a rose and gives it to Belle, who reveals that her betrothal was purely for political reasons. Eventually, Rumpelstiltskin sends Belle to market for him, fully believing she'll take advantage of this freedom to escape.
27. On the road to or from the market, Belle meets up with the Evil Queen, who tells her that true love's kiss breaks any curse.
28. Belle goes back to Rumpelstiltskin (which surprises the hell out of him) and kisses him. This makes Rumpelstiltskin start to change back into human form; he freaks out and thus stops the transformation. Belle triumphantly tells him about true love's kiss and he freaks out even more. He knows that the Evil Queen is behind this (wanting to eliminate his powers so she will have less magical competition, according to him) and believes that Belle is also out to get him. He has a tremendously impressive temper tantrum and kicks her out of his castle for good.
29. About a year after his birth, Dreamy sees Nova and they have instant chemistry. Nova asks Grumpy out on a date to see fireflies, which he doesn't recognize as a come-on.
30. Belle, drowning her sorrows over Rumpelstiltskin in drink, meets up with Dreamy at a bar and gives him a clue-by-four upside the head that he's in love and that Nova was actually asking him out.
31. Nova arranges for a boat so she and Dreamy can sail around the world.
32. Dreamy sneaks out to run away with Nova but is waylaid at the last minute by the Blue Fairy and Bossy, who convince him to forget being with Nova.
33. Dreamy meets up with Nova, who shows him the boat. He dumps her and heads back to the mine, where he is re-named Grumpy.
34. (This part may happen before Belle meets Dreamy in the bar, it's not clear) The Evil Queen pays a visit to Rumpelstiltskin following his rejection of Belle and tells him (lying, obviously, but Rumpelstiltskin believes her) that Belle's been cast out by her father and killed. Rumpelstiltskin is devastated.
35. (This part may happen at any point between now and the Curse) Something happens to Belle in fairytale land which causes her to end up in a secret psych ward in the Storybrooke hospital once the Curse is enacted.
36. Grumpy is cast into King George's dungeon for some reason.
37. Snow White shows up at King George's palace and is captured, meeting Grumpy in a dungeon. Stealthy breaks them out and is killed trying to escape. Snow White saves Grumpy and meets with King George. King George tells Snow White to tell James she doesn't love him, and lets her in on the fact that James is not really his son. Snow accordingly breaks James' heart and leaves the castle.
38. The seven dwarves meet up with Snow as she leaves the castle and convince her not to use the forgetfulness potion immediately. This scene is viewed by the Evil Queen in her magic mirror.
39. The Evil Queen speaks to Hansel and Gretel's father and discovers that the secret of their happiness is the bond of being a family
40. (This could have happened earlier or later than this point, but I'm sticking it in here for convenience) The Evil Queen acquires the curse from Rumpelstiltskin (doubtless in a deal of some kind) and eventually trades it to Malificent in exchange for a poison to kill Snow White.
41. Abigail tells James about her past love, Frederick. James battles the siren of Lake Nostos. This allows Abigail to free Frederick and motivates James to try and win Snow White's love.
42. It becomes general knowledge that James and Abigail's engagement is off.
43. James goes to some woodland area trying to find Snow White. (I guess a little bird must have told him to go there.) Red Riding Hood tells him she's gone. King George, furious over the broken engagement, shows up with his posse and tries to kill James, who grabs Red Riding Hood and flees on horseback. Pursuit ensues. (Given that they're not killed, they must work it out somehow so that James can end up marrying Snow White and still have a castle to live in - clearly that's a story in itself.)
44. Snow White, however, has already taken the forgetfulness potion.
45. At some point, the forgetfulness potion is reversed (Water from Lake Nostos, maybe?)
46. Snow White is poisoned by the Evil Queen, put into a coffin, and is brought back to life by a kiss from James
47. Snow White and James get married (she would have been given his mother's ring by this time); during the wedding, the Evil Queen threatens everyone with the curse
48. Cinderella and Thomas get married
49. Snow White gets pregnant
50. Cinderella gets pregnant
51. (This might have happened before Snow White and/or Cinderella got pregnant, or after Rumpelstiltskin is captured, it's not clear:) The Evil Queen steals the curse back from her buddy Maleficent and tries it with no effect
52. Cinderella, Thomas, and James conspire to imprison Rumpelstiltskin; Thomas disappears
53. While pregnant, Snow freaks out about the Evil Queen's threat; she and James visit Rumpelstiltskin and find out that their daughter will be the saviour in exchange for telling Rumpelstiltskin the baby's name, and then plans begin to send Snow away from the curse via an enchanted tree wardrobe
54. The Evil Queen visits Rumpelstiltskin to find out why his curse is a dud and, in exchange for a promise of being rich post-curse and the Evil Queen having to do anything he asks if he says please, he tells her that she needs to sacrifice the thing she loves most; she also discovers that the curse can be undone by Snow's baby
55. The Evil Queen offs her dad
56. The Evil Queen successfully enacts the curse as Snow White is in labour
57. Emma is born; James sends her to safety via the enchanted tree wardrobe
58. The Evil Queen arrives at James' palace, although not in time to grab the baby, and laughs maniacally as the curse takes effect
59. Everyone in the fairy tale world is sent to Storybrook and time stops for them
60. Around age 18, Emma gets knocked up with Henry. The father is likely a married man.
61. At some point during the pregnancy, Emma is sent to jail.
62. Henry is born in jail. Emma decides to give him up for adoption. At the same time, Regina decides she wants to adopt a baby. Rumplestiltskin is the gobetween and somehow acquires Emma's baby for Regina in exchange for an unknown favour from Regina.
63. Over the next ten years, Henry is presumably the only person in storybrook who ages, since he was a baby when he got there and a ten-year-old ten years later. Given that Cinderella's pregnancy never advances in the 28 years when Storybrook time is frozen, and given that Hansel and Gretel are the same age they were when Emma comes to town as they were when the curse took effect, none of the Storybrook people can have children during the time freeze, nor would the Storybrook children ever age. This would probably be very conclusive proof for Henry that things are majorly effed up in his home town; why he never points this out to Emma or anyone as proof that he's not delusional is beyond me.

Crazy morals

Okay, a lot of behaviours really bugged me this episode, so I'm going to go through them one by one.

David (and James too)

David's actually been bugging me since the last episode, when he was clearly trying to have his cake and eat it, too. Celebrating Valentine's Day with two women? Staying with Kathryn and trying to "work things out" even though he's supposed to be so in love with Mary Margaret? Nope, sorry pal. Stringing two women along makes you a player, not a prince. I get that you're conflicted, but this is not decent behaviour. Flash forward to this week's episode, where he still doesn't come clean with Kathryn, and we have a guy who's acting like a real jerk. Add to that James' boasting about he's sooo brave, and the guy as a whole is really getting on my nerves.

Mary Margaret

In what universe does finally being "open and honest" about having a secret affair with a married man make it okay? Hint: it was never okay. She should have listened to Emma's original advice.

The town in general (and Granny specifically)

Given the way Mary Margaret is being ostracized and judged, it seems like Storybrooke has never had anyone in it ever have an affair before. Which I find really, really hard to believe.

Other things about this episode:

• I knew the guy with the bag of gym balls that Kathryn bumped into was going to turn out to be Frederick. The camera lingered on him staring at her way too long for him to be an extra.
• So Frederick was the one to discover Abigail's car and the lack of Abigail's car in it - what on earth was he doing driving on the road leading out of Storybrooke, anyway?
• We got a shot of a can of red spray paint in Regina's desk as she opened it to get out David's letter, so obviously we're meant to understand that she was the one who painted "TRAMP" on Mary Margaret's car.
• We got possibly another hint about Henry's dad, when Emma tells August that not knowing a guy's name before she goes out with him has, in her past, led to bad stuff like finding out later that he's married. From past episodes, we also know that Emma has had an affair with a married man. We also know that the real backstory about Henry's father is "horrible". It's very likely that Emma's past affair with a married man is the Henry-producing relationship. So, is that how it happened? He never told her his name before they shacked up?
• I hope we'll see more of that magical water well again. Could come in very handy.
• August Wayne Booth, eh? I wonder what the significance of that is.
• Very interesting to see Abigail's back story. Originally when we were introduced to her, she just seemed like a spoiled, depthless snob. Turns out she was actually grieving her goldified lover. Nice to see she has depth. I do like how there always seems to be more to everyone than first meets the eye.

Revised timeline:

(Belle's story not in here yet because I don't know precisely where it goes.)

1. Rumpelstiltskin kills the Dark One and acquires magic and power.
2. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with Jimminy and gives him turn-people-into-scary-ass-dolls potion. Said potion is accidentally used on Gepetto's parents; the Blue Fairy turns Jimminy into an immortal cricket and he becomes Gepetto's best friend.
3. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with James' parents to take one of their twins as a son for Mean King in exchange for a farm
4. The Evil Queen has love and loses it because of Snow White not being able to keep a secret (possibly Snow's father is responsible as well)
5. The Evil Queen marries Snow White's father
6. Snow White's father finds the genie, frees him, and takes him back to his palace for yuks
7. The Evil Queen fools the genie into thinking she loves him, and (with her father's help) gets him to murder Snow White's father for her.
8. The genie finds out the Evil Queen is a lying liar who lies, and wishes himself into every mirror she looks into.
9. Snow White realises that the Evil Queen is out to get her (since she seemed to be perfectly trusting of the Evil Queen earlier when she was mourning her dad, but knows the Evil Queen wants to kill her not too long after when the Huntsman takes her into the woods)
10. The Evil Queen tells the Huntsman to kill Snow White; instead, he MacGyvers a help-summoning whistle for her and lets her go
11. (This one might have happened before the Huntsman took Snow into the woods, but given that there was a vengeance associated with Snow White using the powder that we didn't see when she was writing the letter to the Evil Queen before the Hutnsman caught up with her in the woods, I would guess it happens at this stage of the story instead:) Snow White somehow acquires magic insect powder
12. Snow White starts living rough in the woods and stealing gold and whatnot. At some point (either before or after her exile to the forest), Snow somehow helps Red Riding Hood "when no one else would" and they become friends. At some point after Snow White starts roughing it, Red seems to regularly bring helpful supplies to Snow White.
13. James' twin brother is killed trying to impress Midas.
14. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with Mean King to get James for him to replace the dead twin.
15. Presumably around this time, Mean King tells Rumpelstiltskin the location of Cinderella's fairy godmother as payment for getting James for him. At some point thereafter, Rumpelstiltskin poofs said fairy godmother, takes control of her wand, and gets Cinderella to agree to giving him her first-born son in exchange for prettying her up and getting her to the ball.
16. James kills a dragon and gets engaged to Abigail
17. James sees his mother for the last time and gets her lucky ring to give to his future wife
18. As James is making his way back from Midas' kingdom to his own, Snow ambushes his carriage and makes off with his mother's special ring. After a series of madcap adventures together, during which she uses up her insect powder, she gives him back his ring and they go their separate ways.
19. Snow White and James can't stop thinking about each other.
20. Snow White gets a forgetfulness potion from Rumpelstiltskin in exchange for some strands of her hair.
21. James sends Snow White her a letter by dove professing his love.
22. The Evil Queen kidnaps Hansel and Gretel's father and sends Hansel and Gretel to the blind witch's house to steal the poisoned apple
23. Hansel and Gretel deliver the apple to the Evil Queen and she offers to adopt them as her children. They refuse, and she casts them out into the forest.
24. Snow White shows up at Mean King's palace and is captured, meeting Grumpy in a dungeon. Stealthy breaks them out and is killed trying to escape. Snow White saves Grumpy and meets with Mean King. Mean King tells Snow White to tell James she doesn't love him, and lets her in on the fact that James is not really his son. Snow accordingly breaks James' heart and leaves the castle.
25. The seven dwarves meet up with Snow as she leaves the castle and convince her not to use the forgetfulness potion immediately. This scene is viewed by the Evil Queen in her magic mirror.
26. The Evil Queen speaks to Hansel and Gretel's father and discovers that the secret of their happiness is the bond of being a family
27. Abigail tells James about her past love, Frederick. James battles the siren of Lake Nostos. This allows Abigail to free Frederick and motivates James to try and win Snow White's love.
28. It becomes general knowledge that James and Abigail's engagement is off.
29. James goes to some woodland area trying to find Snow White. (I guess a little bird must have told him to go there.) Red Riding Hood tells him she's gone. King George, furious over the broken engagement, shows up with his posse and tries to kill James, who grabs Red Riding Hood and flees on horseback. Pursuit ensues. (Given that they're not killed, they must work it out somehow so that James can end up marrying Snow White and still have a castle to live in - clearly that's a story in itself.)
30. Snow White, however, has already taken the forgetfulness potion.
31. At some point, the forgetfulness potion is reversed (Water from Lake Nostos, maybe?)
32. Snow White is poisoned by the Evil Queen, put into a coffin, and is brought back to life by a kiss from James
33. Snow White and James get married (she would have been given his mother's ring by this time); during the wedding, the Evil Queen threatens everyone with the curse
34. Cinderella and Thomas get married
35. Snow White gets pregnant
36. Cinderella gets pregnant
37. (This might have happened before Snow White and/or Cinderella got pregnant, or after Rumpelstiltskin is captured, it's not clear:) The Evil Queen steals the curse back from her buddy Maleficent and tries it with no effect
38. Cinderella, Thomas, and James conspire to imprison Rumpelstiltskin; Thomas disappears
39. While pregnant, Snow freaks out about the Evil Queen's threat; she and James visit Rumpelstiltskin and find out that their daughter will be the saviour in exchange for telling Rumpelstiltskin the baby's name, and then plans begin to send Snow away from the curse via an enchanted tree wardrobe
40. The Evil Queen visits Rumpelstiltskin to find out why his curse is a dud and, in exchange for a promise of being rich post-curse and the Evil Queen having to do anything he asks if he says please, he tells her that she needs to sacrifice the thing she loves most; she also discovers that the curse can be undone by Snow's baby
41. The Evil Queen offs her dad
42. The Evil Queen successfully enacts the curse as Snow White is in labour
43. Emma is born; James sends her to safety via the enchanted tree wardrobe
44. The Evil Queen arrives at James' palace, although not in time to grab the baby, and laughs maniacally as the curse takes effect
45. Everyone in the fairy tale world is sent to Storybrook and time stops for them
46. Around age 18, Emma gets knocked up with Henry. The father is likely a married man.
47. At some point during the pregnancy, Emma is sent to jail.
48. Henry is born in jail. Emma decides to give him up for adoption. At the same time, Regina decides she wants to adopt a baby. Rumplestiltskin is the gobetween and somehow acquires Emma's baby for Regina in exchange for an unknown favour from Regina.
49. Over the next ten years, Henry is presumably the only person in storybrook who ages, since he was a baby when he got there and a ten-year-old ten years later. Given that Cinderella's pregnancy never advances in the 28 years when Storybrook time is frozen, and given that Hansel and Gretel are the same age they were when Emma comes to town as they were when the curse took effect, none of the Storybrook people can have children during the time freeze, nor would the Storybrook children ever age. This would probably be very conclusive proof for Henry that things are majorly effed up in his home town; why he never points this out to Emma or anyone as proof that he's not delusional is beyond me.

Not so beastly after all

I knew Mr. Gold remembered. :) The part where Regina forces him to name himself was deliciously thrilling.

The only problem is that I'm not sure precisely where this fits in to the timeline. It's obviously before Rumpelstiltskin is imprisoned by Prince James and Prince David, yet it must be after the Evil Queen kills off King Leopold, since she's wearing black. The other hint that it doesn't take place too long before the Curse is that Belle-in-the-real-world looks about the same age as Belle-in-Fairytale-Land, so not too much time would have passed between the Beauty-and-the-Beast events and the Curse. Maybe later we'll get more hints as to exactly when it fits in.

Verrrry interesting things happening here, though. Firstly, it's obvious that the Evil Queen lied about Belle dying. But what did happen to her? I'd hazard a guess that she was somehow captured and imprisoned by the Evil Queen, which is why she was transported right to what appears to be the secret mental ward of Storybrook Hospital as part of the Curse.

And speaking of the secret mental ward...who else is in there? I suspect the answer to that question is also very interesting.

Finally, we got information that "any curse can be broken by true love's kiss" (or words to that effect). Now, the Evil Queen lies like a rug on a regular basis, so anything she says needs to be taken with a huge grain of salt. But, given that Rumpelstiltskin started to transform back to a human when Belle kissed him, maybe she wasn't kidding there. We've also seen that Prince James' kiss cured the curse that "killed" Snow White. (Although, if the Evil Queen knew about the power of true love's kiss, should she not have anticipated that instead of getting mad at Maleficent for giving her an easily-broken curse?) And, very interestingly if you think about it, Graham and Emma kissing broke a certain amount of the Curse for Graham, because it brought his real memories back.

Which begs the question...what kiss is it going to take to break the Curse overall? Could it possibly be that we need Regina to experience true love's kiss for that to happen? I think that's a seriously fascinating possibility.

Revised timeline following "The Fruit of the Poisonous Tree"

Was Emma's superpower broken this week? Surely there was something Sydney said to her that would have tripped her lie detector? Like, oh, say, the bit about Regina having tampered with the brakes on her squad car?

Anyway, not much to add to the timeline this week, but might as well put it in there anyway...

1. Rumpelstiltskin kills the Dark One and acquires magic and power.
2. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with Jimminy and gives him turn-people-into-scary-ass-dolls potion. Said potion is accidentally used on Gepetto's parents; the Blue Fairy turns Jimminy into an immortal cricket and he becomes Gepetto's best friend.
3. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with James' parents to take one of their twins as a son for Mean King in exchange for a farm
4. The Evil Queen has love and loses it because of Snow White not being able to keep a secret (possibly Snow's father is responsible as well)
5. The Evil Queen marries Snow White's father
6. Snow White's father finds the genie, frees him, and takes him back to his palace for yuks
7. The Evil Queen fools the genie into thinking she loves him, and (with her father's help) gets him to murder Snow White's father for her.
8. The genie finds out the Evil Queen is a lying liar who lies, and wishes himself into every mirror she looks into.
9. Snow White realises that the Evil Queen is out to get her (since she seemed to be perfectly trusting of the Evil Queen earlier when she was mourning her dad, but knows the Evil Queen wants to kill her not too long after when the Huntsman takes her into the woods)
10. The Evil Queen tells the Huntsman to kill Snow White; instead, he MacGyvers a help-summoning whistle for her and lets her go
11. (This one might have happened before the Huntsman took Snow into the woods, but given that there was a vengeance associated with Snow White using the powder that we didn't see when she was writing the letter to the Evil Queen before the Hutnsman caught up with her in the woods, I would guess it happens at this stage of the story instead:) Snow White somehow acquires magic insect powder
12. Snow White starts living rough in the woods and stealing gold and whatnot. At some point (either before or after her exile to the forest), Snow somehow helps Red Riding Hood "when no one else would" and they become friends. At some point after Snow White starts roughing it, Red seems to regularly bring helpful supplies to Snow White.
13. James' twin brother is killed trying to impress Midas.
14. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with Mean King to get James for him to replace the dead twin.
15. Presumably around this time, Mean King tells Rumpelstiltskin the location of Cinderella's fairy godmother as payment for getting James for him. At some point thereafter, Rumpelstiltskin poofs said fairy godmother, takes control of her wand, and gets Cinderella to agree to giving him her first-born son in exchange for prettying her up and getting her to the ball.
16. James kills a dragon and gets engaged to Abigail
17. James sees his mother for the last time and gets her lucky ring to give to his future wife
18. As James is making his way back from Midas' kingdom to his own, Snow ambushes his carriage and makes off with his mother's special ring. After a series of madcap adventures together, during which she uses up her insect powder, she gives him back his ring and they go their separate ways.
19. Snow White and James can't stop thinking about each other.
20. Snow White gets a forgetfulness potion from Rumpelstiltskin in exchange for some strands of her hair.
21. James sends Snow White her a letter by dove professing his love.
22. The Evil Queen kidnaps Hansel and Gretel's father and sends Hansel and Gretel to the blind witch's house to steal the poisoned apple
23. Hansel and Gretel deliver the apple to the Evil Queen and she offers to adopt them as her children. They refuse, and she casts them out into the forest.
24. Snow White shows up at Mean King's palace and is captured, meeting Grumpy in a dungeon. Stealthy breaks them out and is killed trying to escape. Snow White saves Grumpy and meets with Mean King. Mean King tells Snow White to tell James she doesn't love him, and lets her in on the fact that James is not really his son. Snow accordingly breaks James' heart and leaves the castle.
25. The seven dwarves meet up with Snow as she leaves the castle and convince her not to use the forgetfulness potion immediately. This scene is viewed by the Evil Queen in her magic mirror.
26. The Evil Queen speaks to Hansel and Gretel's father and discovers that the secret of their happiness is the bond of being a family
27. For some reason, James decides Snow White does love him after all and calls off the wedding to Abigail without getting killed by Mean King. (There's a story to that in itself, I'm sure.) Snow White, however, has already taken the forgetfulness potion.
28. At some point, the forgetfulness potion is reversed
29. Snow White is poisoned by the Evil Queen, put into a coffin, and is brought back to life by a kiss from James
30. Snow White and James get married (she would have been given his mother's ring by this time); during the wedding, the Evil Queen threatens everyone with the curse
31. Cinderella and Thomas get married
32. Snow White gets pregnant
33. Cinderella gets pregnant
34. (This might have happened before Snow White and/or Cinderella got pregnant, or after Rumpelstiltskin is captured, it's not clear:) The Evil Queen steals the curse back from her buddy Maleficent and tries it with no effect
35. Cinderella, Thomas, and James conspire to imprison Rumpelstiltskin; Thomas disappears
36. While pregnant, Snow freaks out about the Evil Queen's threat; she and James visit Rumpelstiltskin and find out that their daughter will be the saviour in exchange for telling Rumpelstiltskin the baby's name, and then plans begin to send Snow away from the curse via an enchanted tree wardrobe
37. The Evil Queen visits Rumpelstiltskin to find out why his curse is a dud and, in exchange for a promise of being rich post-curse and the Evil Queen having to do anything he asks if he says please, he tells her that she needs to sacrifice the thing she loves most; she also discovers that the curse can be undone by Snow's baby
38. The Evil Queen offs her dad
39. The Evil Queen successfully enacts the curse as Snow White is in labour
40. Emma is born; James sends her to safety via the enchanted tree wardrobe
41. The Evil Queen arrives at James' palace, although not in time to grab the baby, and laughs maniacally as the curse takes effect
42. Everyone in the fairy tale world is sent to Storybrook and time stops for them
43. Around age 18, Emma gets knocked up with Henry. The father is likely a married man.
44. At some point during the pregnancy, Emma is sent to jail.
45. Henry is born in jail. Emma decides to give him up for adoption. At the same time, Regina decides she wants to adopt a baby. Rumplestiltskin is the gobetween and somehow acquires Emma's baby for Regina in exchange for an unknown favour from Regina.
46. Over the next ten years, Henry is presumably the only person in storybrook who ages, since he was a baby when he got there and a ten-year-old ten years later. Given that Cinderella's pregnancy never advances in the 28 years when Storybrook time is frozen, and given that Hansel and Gretel are the same age they were when Emma comes to town as they were when the curse took effect, none of the Storybrook people can have children during the time freeze, nor would the Storybrook children ever age. This would probably be very conclusive proof for Henry that things are majorly effed up in his home town; why he never points this out to Emma or anyone as proof that he's not delusional is beyond me.

Sussing things out

Questions

• Where did Snow get the insect powder? She didn't even hear of Rumpelstiltskin until after she'd had her adventure with James and used up the powder, so it must have come from somewhere else. How she acquired it is probably going to be an interesting little plot point.
• Why did Regina want to adopt a baby? Especially if (as was implied in the pilot) she doesn't even love him? I suspect the answer to that will give us big insight into what she's all about. In the Hansel and Gretel episode, she got very emotional (for her) when the twins' father told her about the importance of family. I suspect adopting Henry was her trying to get back whatever she lost (family?) because of Snow.
• One of the ingredients for the curse was hair from the most evil hearts in all the land (or something like that). However, Rumpelstiltskin was not one of the evil creatures gathered around the fire when EQ first tried to enact the curse. Can we infer from this that Rumpelstiltskin is not actually evil?
• Is Emma going to have to die to fully reverse the curse?

Timeline

1. Rumpelstiltskin kills the Dark One and acquires magic and power.
2. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with Jimminy and gives him turn-people-into-scary-ass-dolls potion. Said potion is accidentally used on Gepetto's parents; the Blue Fairy turns Jimminy into an immortal cricket and he becomes Gepetto's best friend.
3. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with James' parents to take one of their twins as a son for Mean King in exchange for a farm
4. The Evil Queen has love and loses it because of Snow White not being able to keep a secret (possibly Snow's father is responsible as well)
5. The Evil Queen marries Snow White's father
6. The Evil Queen kills Snow White's father
7. Snow White realises that the Evil Queen is out to get her (since she seemed to be perfectly trusting of the Evil Queen earlier when she was mourning her dad, but knows the Evil Queen wants to kill her not too long after when the Huntsman takes her into the woods)
8. The Evil Queen tells the Huntsman to kill Snow White; instead, he MacGyvers a help-summoning whistle for her and lets her go
9. (This one might have happened before the Huntsman took Snow into the woods, but given that there was a vengeance associated with Snow White using the powder that we didn't see when she was writing the letter to the Evil Queen before the Hutnsman caught up with her in the woods, I would guess it happens at this stage of the story instead:) Snow White somehow acquires magic insect powder
10. Snow White starts living rough in the woods and stealing gold and whatnot. At some point (either before or after her exile to the forest), Snow somehow helps Red Riding Hood "when no one else would" and they become friends. At some point after Snow White starts roughing it, Red seems to regularly bring helpful supplies to Snow White.
11. James' twin brother is killed trying to impress Midas.
12. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with Mean King to get James for him to replace the dead twin.
13. Presumably around this time, Mean King tells Rumpelstiltskin the location of Cinderella's fairy godmother as payment for getting James for him. At some point thereafter, Rumpelstiltskin poofs said fairy godmother, takes control of her wand, and gets Cinderella to agree to giving him her first-born son in exchange for prettying her up and getting her to the ball.
14. James kills a dragon and gets engaged to Abigail
15. James sees his mother for the last time and gets her lucky ring to give to his future wife
16. As James is making his way back from Midas' kingdom to his own, Snow ambushes his carriage and makes off with his mother's special ring. After a series of madcap adventures together, during which she uses up her insect powder, she gives him back his ring and they go their separate ways.
17. Snow White and James can't stop thinking about each other.
18. Snow White gets a forgetfulness potion from Rumpelstiltskin in exchange for some strands of her hair.
19. James sends Snow White her a letter by dove professing his love.
20. The Evil Queen kidnaps Hansel and Gretel's father and sends Hansel and Gretel to the blind witch's house to steal the poisoned apple
21. Hansel and Gretel deliver the apple to the Evil Queen and she offers to adopt them as her children. They refuse, and she casts them out into the forest.
22. Snow White shows up at Mean King's palace and is captured, meeting Grumpy in a dungeon. Stealthy breaks them out and is killed trying to escape. Snow White saves Grumpy and meets with Mean King. Mean King tells Snow White to tell James she doesn't love him, and lets her in on the fact that James is not really his son. Snow accordingly breaks James' heart and leaves the castle.
23. The seven dwarves meet up with Snow as she leaves the castle and convince her not to use the forgetfulness potion immediately. This scene is viewed by the Evil Queen in her magic mirror.
24. The Evil Queen speaks to Hansel and Gretel's father and discovers that the secret of their happiness is the bond of being a family
25. For some reason, James decides Snow White does love him after all and calls off the wedding to Abigail without getting killed by Mean King. (There's a story to that in itself, I'm sure.) Snow White, however, has already taken the forgetfulness potion.
26. At some point, the forgetfulness potion is reversed
27. Snow White is poisoned by the Evil Queen, put into a coffin, and is brought back to life by a kiss from James
28. Snow White and James get married (she would have been given his mother's ring by this time); during the wedding, the Evil Queen threatens everyone with the curse
29. Cinderella and Thomas get married
30. Snow White gets pregnant
31. Cinderella gets pregnant
32. (This might have happened before Snow White and/or Cinderella got pregnant, or after Rumpelstiltskin is captured, it's not clear:) The Evil Queen steals the curse back from her buddy Maleficent and tries it with no effect
33. Cinderella, Thomas, and James conspire to imprison Rumpelstiltskin; Thomas disappears
34. While pregnant, Snow freaks out about the Evil Queen's threat; she and James visit Rumpelstiltskin and find out that their daughter will be the saviour in exchange for telling Rumpelstiltskin the baby's name, and then plans begin to send Snow away from the curse via an enchanted tree wardrobe
35. The Evil Queen visits Rumpelstiltskin to find out why his curse is a dud and, in exchange for a promise of being rich post-curse and the Evil Queen having to do anything he asks if he says please, he tells her that she needs to sacrifice the thing she loves most; she also discovers that the curse can be undone by Snow's baby
36. The Evil Queen offs her dad
37. The Evil Queen successfully enacts the curse as Snow White is in labour
38. Emma is born; James sends her to safety via the enchanted tree wardrobe
39. The Evil Queen arrives at James' palace, although not in time to grab the baby, and laughs maniacally as the curse takes effect
40. Everyone in the fairy tale world is sent to Storybrook and time stops for them
41. Around age 18, Emma gets knocked up with Henry. The father is likely a married man.
42. At some point during the pregnancy, Emma is sent to jail.
43. Henry is born in jail. Emma decides to give him up for adoption. At the same time, Regina decides she wants to adopt a baby. Rumplestiltskin is the gobetween and somehow acquires Emma's baby for Regina in exchange for an unknown favour from Regina.
44. Over the next ten years, Henry is presumably the only person in storybrook who ages, since he was a baby when he got there and a ten-year-old ten years later. Given that Cinderella's pregnancy never advances in the 28 years when Storybrook time is frozen, and given that Hansel and Gretel are the same age they were when Emma comes to town as they were when the curse took effect, none of the Storybrook people can have children during the time freeze, nor would the Storybrook children ever age. This would probably be very conclusive proof for Henry that things are majorly effed up in his home town; why he never points this out to Emma or anyone as proof that he's not delusional is beyond me.