Friday, May 4, 2012

Crafty carpenter

So a few things are now explained. We know who August is, and how he knows about fairy-tale land and the Saviour, and how he managed to get to the real world without his memories being affected.

But a few things aren't explained.

  • How does August know about the knife?
  • How does August know about being able to summon and bind the Dark One?
  • How does August know about Baelfire?

I can't imagine he could have found these things out while a puppet/boy in fairy-tale land, which means he must have found them out since coming through the tree. And that most likely means that he's found Baelfire.

Why Mr. Gold hasn't figured this out and tortured August until he revealed Bae's whereabouts is beyond me.

And while we're on the subject of Bae, let's speculate a bit about him. "Baelfire" is the name of the fire lit for the celebration of Beltane. The fire is apparently for cleansing and blessings. What if Bae is a key to breaking the curse? What if, possibly, his nature is so "cleansing" that his involvement can somehow bring everyone back to before the curse? Interesting thoughts.

Various rumours and promos reveal some upcoming tidbits:

  • Someone majorly shocking is going to die. A promo also shows Henry fainting, perhaps it's him? It looks like he might have been holding an apple - perhaps he accidentally ingested some poison that his mom had prepared for someone else?
  • Regina visits Charming in a dungeon and tells him that she has something even worse than death in mind for Snow White. It looks like she was hot for his bod even back at that point.
  • Looks like Snow, the dwarves, Granny and Red are going to try and break Charming out of prison. Red manages to find out that Regina is involved, and Snow White realises it's a trap. However, she doesn't care and is going to try and save Charming anyway.
  • When Red comes back to inform the group of this, she has (according to Grumpy) something on her face, which she immediately wipes away. I'm sure whatever it is will turn out to be an interesting part of the story.
  • During all this planning, Snow White reveals that she knows the Queen hates her because she (Snow) destroyed her (Regina's) happiness.

Revised timeline:

  1. Rumpelstiltskin kills the Dark One and acquires magic and power.
  2. Rumpelstiltskin becomes increasingly nasty. His son Baelfire wishes that his father was no longer magic, and makes a deal with Rumpelstiltskin that if he finds a way to get rid of his father's magic, his father will do it.
  3. Baelfire's friend Moraine tells him about the Rul Gorm/Blue Fairy. Baelfire summons her and she gives him a magic bean which will take him and his father to the real world, i.e. a place without magic, which will bring things back to normal for him and Rumpelstiltskin again
  4. Baelfire fires up the bean's magic, creating a wormhole to the real world. Rumpelstiltskin chickens out at the last minute and abandons Baelfire to the wormhole. (Later in Storybrooke, Mr. Gold reveals that this is the only deal he has ever broken.) Rumpelstiltskin immediately regrets this decision and summons the Blue Fairy to try and fix things. However, there appears to be no other way to go through to the real world (although Rumpelstiltskin does get the idea from this conversation that perhaps it could be achieved through a curse requiring great sacrifice) and Rumpelstiltskin ends up blaming the Blue Fairy for the loss of his son. He also vows to devote his life and forego love until he gets his son back.
  5. (This may happen before Baelfire leaves fairy-tale land, but I think it's more likely it happens after) Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with Jimminy and gives him turn-people-into-scary-ass-dolls potion. Said potion is accidentally used on Gepetto's parents; the Blue Fairy turns Jimminy into an immortal cricket and he becomes Gepetto's best friend.
  6. Around this time (a little more than 60 years before the curse), Granny's father and brothers are slaughtered by a werewolf, who then bites Granny. Later, he returns and changes her into a werewolf. They marry, and go on to have a daughter who is also a werewolf. She is later killed by a hunting party, but not before she gives birth to Red, who starts becoming a werewolf at the full moon at the age of 13. From a wizard, Granny buys a red cloak that will prevent Red from changing into a werewolf. Also at some point, Granny's husband dies, as she is later referred to as "Widow Lucas". Granny's werewolfness eventually fades away, although she retains some things, like tracking ability (sense of smell).
  7. Regina's mother, daughter of a miller, sacrifices a bunch of things to move from poverty to wealth. (This is probably the Rumpelstiltskin story, with Regina's mother as the miller's daughter. On the other hand, the miller's daughter in the story is supposed to marry a King, which Regina's father clearly isn't, so there's obviously more to the story that we'll probably find out about at some point.)
  8. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with James' parents to take one of their twins as a son for King George in exchange for a farm
  9. Snow White is born (I'm assuming this happens a bit after James is born.)
  10. (This may happen before Snow White's birth) The summer palace is built for Snow White's mother
  11. Snow White's mother dies.
  12. Regina and Daniel fall in love.
  13. Regina's mother spooks Snow White's horse to make it run wild, and Regina saves her. As a result, King Leopold proposes to Regina.
  14. Regina and Daniel plan to run away together, and Snow White catches them kissing. Regina explains about true love and gets Snow White to promise not to tell anyone about Daniel.
  15. Regina's mother, clearly suspecting something, manipulates Snow White into betraying Regina.
  16. Regina's mother catches her and Daniel trying to run away together. She murders Daniel by taking out his heart and crushing it to dust.
  17. Regina decides to marry King Leopold and discovers that Snow White betrayed her secret. She vows revenge and also figures out that her mother spooked Snow White's horse so that Regina would come to King Leopold's intention.
  18. Regina marries King Leopold.
  19. Regina's mother trains her up in magic.
  20. At some point, Regina's mother must die (or be transformed, or have something happen to her that takes her out of the picture). Very possibly Regina is the architect of her mother's downfall.
  21. (Not sure exactly where in the timeline this one goes, but this seems a good guess as it is supposed to occur one year before the Nova-and-Grumpy story) Fairy-godmother-in-training Nova accidentally spills some fairy dust, and it lands on a dwarf egg. The egg immediately hatches and the dwarf inside it is born prematurely, looking around for Nova, whose face he saw while inside the egg. He is informed by another dwarf, Bossy, that dwarves do not fall in love, and, along with his seven brothers (Happy, Doc, Dopey, Sneezy, Bashful, Sneaky and Sleepy) who hatch a little bit later, is given basic dwarf orientation before being given a pick-axe which christens him "Dreamy" and is then sent to mine diamonds and fairy dust.
  22. Snow White's father finds the genie, frees him, and takes him back to his palace for yuks
  23. The Evil Queen fools the genie into thinking she loves him, and (with her father's help) gets him to murder Snow White's father for her.
  24. The genie finds out the Evil Queen is a lying liar who lies, and wishes himself into every mirror she looks into.
  25. At some point after the genie is wished into the mirror, the Queen of Hearts kidnaps the Evil Queen's father and hides him in Wonderland. She cons the Mad Hatter into taking her into Wonderland to rescue her father, and then leaves the Mad Hatter there, thus leaving his daughter Grace fatherless.
  26. Snow White realises that the Evil Queen is out to get her (since she seemed to be perfectly trusting of the Evil Queen earlier when she was mourning her dad, but knows the Evil Queen wants to kill her not too long after when the Huntsman takes her into the woods). Doubtless this involves her finding out that Daniel was killed and that it really was true love between him and Regina after all.
  27. The Evil Queen tells the Huntsman to kill Snow White; instead, he MacGyvers a help-summoning whistle for her and lets her go
  28. (This one might have happened before the Huntsman took Snow into the woods, but given that there was a vengeance associated with Snow White using the powder that we didn't see when she was writing the letter to the Evil Queen before the Huntsman caught up with her in the woods, I would guess it happens at this stage of the story instead:) Snow White somehow acquires magic insect powder
  29. Snow White starts living rough in the woods; in the winter she hides out one night in Granny and Red's barn during the full moon and is found by Red the next morning. Also that morning, Red and Snow discover that the wolf has massacred a bunch of men who were trying to kill it.
  30. Red tells Snow White about the man she loves (Peter), and they decide to track the wolf during the daytime. Red turns out to be a fabulous tracker. The wolf tracks turn into boot tracks and lead to Red's window. Red and Snow White conclude that the wolf is a werewolf and that in its human form, it's Peter.
  31. Snow and Red switch cloaks so that Red can warn Peter and chain him to a tree to keep him from killing or being killed
  32. Granny discovers the ruse and confesses that the werewolf is actually Red and that the red cloak stops her from turning; Granny and Snow run out to find Red, but she is already munching on Peter. Granny drops the werewolf with a silver-tipped arrow and Snow throws the red cloak over her to change her back into Red. As the huntsmen close in, Snow spirits Red away, leaving Granny to face the music. (She obviously ends up okay, since she and Red are reunited in Prince Charming's castle.)
  33. Snow White starts stealing gold and whatnot. (She seems to have picked up some badassery from Granny.) At some point after Snow White starts roughing it, Red seems to regularly bring helpful supplies to Snow White.
  34. James' twin brother is killed trying to impress Midas.
  35. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with King George to get James for him to replace the dead twin.
  36. Presumably around this time, King George tells Rumpelstiltskin the location of Cinderella's fairy godmother as payment for getting James for him. At some point thereafter, Rumpelstiltskin poofs said fairy godmother, takes control of her wand, and gets Cinderella to agree to giving him her first-born son in exchange for prettying her up and getting her to the ball.
  37. James kills a dragon and gets engaged to Abigail
  38. James sees his mother for the last time and gets her lucky ring to give to his future wife
  39. As James is making his way back from Midas' kingdom to his own, Snow ambushes his carriage and makes off with his mother's special ring. After a series of madcap adventures together, during which she uses up her insect powder, she gives him back his ring and they go their separate ways.
  40. Snow White and James can't stop thinking about each other.
  41. Snow White gets a forgetfulness potion from Rumpelstiltskin in exchange for some strands of her hair.
  42. James sends Snow White her a letter by dove professing his love.
  43. The Evil Queen kidnaps Hansel and Gretel's father and sends Hansel and Gretel to the blind witch's house to steal the poisoned apple
  44. Hansel and Gretel deliver the apple to the Evil Queen and she offers to adopt them as her children. They refuse, and she casts them out into the forest.
  45. (This part and the rest of the Belle story and the Grumpy-and-Nova story may actually take place earlier, but this placement seems as good a spot as any; I'll certainly move it if more information comes up that makes its placement more specific) The Ogre Wars are going extremely badly for some mayor guy. He makes a deal with Rumpelstiltskin to solve his ogre problem, in return for which his daughter Belle agrees to be Rumpelstiltskin's servant for life.
  46. Belle gets to know Rumpelstiltskin and starts bringing him out of his shell. In the process, she chips one of his teacups. She also discovers that he had a son, but fails miserably to get him to ever talk about it. Chemistry between the two of them builds. At one point, Belle's old fiancé tries to "rescue" her, but Rumpelstiltskin turns him into a rose and gives it to Belle, who reveals that her betrothal was purely for political reasons. Eventually, Rumpelstiltskin sends Belle to market for him, fully believing she'll take advantage of this freedom to escape.
  47. On the road to or from the market, Belle meets up with the Evil Queen, who tells her that true love's kiss breaks any curse.
  48. Belle goes back to Rumpelstiltskin (which surprises the hell out of him) and kisses him. This makes Rumpelstiltskin start to change back into human form; he freaks out (because this will mean the end of his plans to get his son back) and thus stops the transformation. Belle triumphantly tells him about true love's kiss and he freaks out even more. He knows that the Evil Queen is behind this (wanting to eliminate his powers so she will have less magical competition, according to him) and believes that Belle is also out to get him. He has a tremendously impressive temper tantrum and kicks her out of his castle for good.
  49. About a year after his birth, Dreamy sees Nova and they have instant chemistry. Nova asks Grumpy out on a date to see fireflies, which he doesn't recognize as a come-on.
  50. Belle, drowning her sorrows over Rumpelstiltskin in drink, meets up with Dreamy at a bar and gives him a clue-by-four upside the head that he's in love and that Nova was actually asking him out.
  51. Nova arranges for a boat so she and Dreamy can sail around the world.
  52. Dreamy sneaks out to run away with Nova but is waylaid at the last minute by the Blue Fairy and Bossy, who convince him to forget being with Nova.
  53. Dreamy meets up with Nova, who shows him the boat. He dumps her and heads back to the mine, where he is re-named Grumpy.
  54. (This part may happen a bit later) For some reason, the dwarves stop living in the mines underground and start living in a cottage in the woods
  55. (This part may happen before Belle meets Dreamy in the bar, it's not clear) The Evil Queen pays a visit to Rumpelstiltskin following his rejection of Belle and tells him (lying, obviously, but Rumpelstiltskin believes her) that Belle's been cast out by her father and killed. Rumpelstiltskin is devastated.
  56. (This part may happen at any point between now and the Curse) Something happens to Belle in fairytale land which causes her to end up in a secret psych ward in the Storybrooke hospital once the Curse is enacted.
  57. Grumpy is cast into King George's dungeon for some reason.
  58. Snow White shows up at King George's palace and is captured, meeting Grumpy in a dungeon. Stealthy breaks them out and is killed trying to escape. Snow White saves Grumpy and meets with King George. King George tells Snow White to tell James she doesn't love him, and lets her in on the fact that James is not really his son. Snow accordingly breaks James' heart and leaves the castle.
  59. The seven dwarves meet up with Snow as she leaves the castle and convince her not to use the forgetfulness potion immediately. This scene is viewed by the Evil Queen in her magic mirror.
  60. The Evil Queen speaks to Hansel and Gretel's father and discovers that the secret of their happiness is the bond of being a family
  61. (This could have happened earlier or later than this point, but I'm sticking it in here for convenience) The Evil Queen acquires the curse from Rumpelstiltskin (doubtless in a deal of some kind) and eventually trades it to Malificent in exchange for a poison to kill Snow White.
  62. Abigail tells James about her past love, Frederick. James battles the siren of Lake Nostos. This allows Abigail to free Frederick and motivates James to try and win Snow White's love.
  63. It becomes general knowledge that James and Abigail's engagement is off.
  64. James goes to some woodland area trying to find Snow White. (I guess a little bird must have told him to go there.) Red Riding Hood tells him she's gone. King George, furious over the broken engagement, shows up with his posse and tries to kill James, who grabs Red Riding Hood and flees on horseback. Pursuit ensues.
  65. James and Red manage to elude King George's men for a time, but are found after they make camp. To give James a headstart, Red tells him to go on alone and then, because there is a full moon, takes off her hood so she can fursplode and attack the soldiers. At least one survives as we see him later on with nasty scratches all over his face; it is not known whether Red escapes or is captured.
  66. Snow White, however, has already taken the forgetfulness potion.
  67. Unfortunately, this has the side effect of turning her into a right royal bitch. With the help of Jiminy Cricket, the dwarves stage an intervention to try and get her to be nice again, but only succeed in motivating her to kill the Evil Queen in cold blood.
  68. Snow White waylays one of the Evil Queen's knights and finds out that the Evil Queen will soon be travelling to the summer palace.
  69. Grumpy convinces Snow White to get help from Rumpelstiltskin
  70. James happens upon the waylaid guardsman and finds out that Snow White will be trying to kill the Evil Queen on the way to the summer palace
  71. Rumpelstiltskin says he can't bring back Snow White's personality or memories, but does, over Grumpy's objections, give her a bow and arrow to help her kill the Evil Queen with ("An arrow fired from this bow will give you exactly what you need. It always finds its target!")
  72. James goes to Rumpelstiltskin to find out what's going on with Snow White. Rumpelstiltskin reveals that she took a forgetfulness potion which changed her. True love's kiss, however, will of course cure her. Rumpelstiltskin tells James where she is in exchange for James' cloak, and warns James that if Snow succeeds in killing the Evil Queen, she'll become as evil as her and James will never get her back.
  73. James catches up to Snow White and kisses her without any effect whatsoever. Enraged, she decks him, knocks him out and ties him to a tree. She then tries to assassinate the Evil Queen, but James, freed by Jiminy Cricket, jumps in front of her arrow in order to save her from evil. Touched by his sacrifice for her, she kisses him and remembers everything.
  74. Unfortunately, it's at this point that King George's soldiers catch up to James. They stuff him in a wheeled cage and take him away, leaving Snow White vowing to find him.
  75. Rumpelstiltskin combines Snow White's hair with James' hair (which he tweezed off the cloak) and actually manages to bottle love. ("If you can bottle love, you can do anything.")
  76. At some point, Snow White must rescue James. Given that they're not killed, they must work it out somehow so that James can end up marrying Snow White and still have a castle to live in - clearly that's a story in itself.
  77. Snow White is poisoned by the Evil Queen, put into a coffin, and is brought back to life by a kiss from James
  78. Snow White and James get married (she would have been given his mother's ring by this time); during the wedding, the Evil Queen threatens everyone with the curse
  79. Cinderella and Thomas get married
  80. Snow White gets pregnant
  81. Cinderella gets pregnant
  82. (This might have happened before Snow White and/or Cinderella got pregnant, or after Rumpelstiltskin is captured, it's not clear:) The Evil Queen steals the curse back from her buddy Maleficent and tries it with no effect
  83. Cinderella, Thomas, and James conspire to imprison Rumpelstiltskin; Thomas disappears
  84. (This occurs at some point before Snow and James' war council) The Blue Fairy turns Pinocchio into a real boy
  85. While pregnant, Snow freaks out about the Evil Queen's threat; she and James visit Rumpelstiltskin and find out that their daughter will be the saviour in exchange for telling Rumpelstiltskin the baby's name
  86. The Blue Fairy goes to Gepetto, tells him that the curse is coming, and asks him to convert the last magical tree in the land (a tree similar to the one Pinocchio was made out of) into a transportation vessel (wardrobe). It can only hold two, so the pregnant Snow White and James will go through in order to preserve and raise the saviour. Out of fear for what will become of Pinocchio when the curse takes effect, Gepetto refuses unless Pinocchio can have one of the spots in the wardrobe. The deal is struck: Snow and James will be told that the wardrobe can only take one person; Gepetto will build the wardrobe; and Pinocchio will secretly go through it to safety.
  87. James holds a council with the dwarves, Granny, Red, Gepetto, Pinocchio and Snow White to discuss what to do about the curse. The Blue Fairy appears and presents the tree wardrobe plan.
  88. The Evil Queen visits Rumpelstiltskin to find out why his curse is a dud and, in exchange for a promise of being rich post-curse and the Evil Queen having to do anything he asks if he says please, he tells her that she needs to sacrifice the thing she loves most; she also discovers that the curse can be undone by Snow's baby
  89. The Evil Queen offs her dad
  90. The Evil Queen successfully enacts the curse as Snow White is in labour
  91. The Blue Fairy tells Gepetto that Snow White is having the baby early and that Pinocchio can now no longer take a spot in the tree wardrobe since Snow White has to go through with the baby after its birth. She has to do some pre-curse preparations with the other fairies, so she charges Gepetto to tell Snow White about all this.
  92. Gepetto takes advantage of the situation to send Pinocchio through anyway; he makes Pinocchio promise to protect the baby and tell her what she needs to do as she grows up.
  93. Pinocchio goes through the wardrobe.
  94. Emma is born; Gepetto tells Snow and James that the wardrobe is ready; James sends Emma to safety via the enchanted tree wardrobe
  95. In the real world, Pinocchio retrieves Emma from the tree and takes her to a diner where the authorities are obviously contacted and both children are taken into custody and found foster care
  96. The Evil Queen arrives at James' palace, although not in time to grab the baby, and laughs maniacally as the curse takes effect
  97. Everyone in the fairy tale world is sent to Storybrook and time stops for them
  98. While Emma is still a fairly new baby, Pinocchio has the opportunity to escape their very unpleasant foster home. He does so, with apologies to baby Emma.
  99. Around age 18, Emma gets knocked up with Henry. The father is likely a married man.
  100. At some point during the pregnancy, Emma is sent to jail.
  101. Henry is born in jail. Emma decides to give him up for adoption. At the same time, Regina decides she wants to adopt a baby. Rumplestiltskin is the gobetween and somehow acquires Emma's baby for Regina in exchange for an unknown favour from Regina.
  102. Over the next ten years, Henry is presumably the only person in storybrook who ages, since he was a baby when he got there and a ten-year-old ten years later. Given that Cinderella's pregnancy never advances in the 28 years when Storybrook time is frozen, and given that Hansel and Gretel are the same age they were when Emma comes to town as they were when the curse took effect, none of the Storybrook people can have children during the time freeze, nor would the Storybrook children ever age. This would probably be very conclusive proof for Henry that things are majorly effed up in his home town; why he never points this out to Emma or anyone as proof that he's not delusional is beyond me.

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