Monday, January 30, 2012

Revised timeline following "The Fruit of the Poisonous Tree"

Was Emma's superpower broken this week? Surely there was something Sydney said to her that would have tripped her lie detector? Like, oh, say, the bit about Regina having tampered with the brakes on her squad car?

Anyway, not much to add to the timeline this week, but might as well put it in there anyway...

  1. Rumpelstiltskin kills the Dark One and acquires magic and power.
  2. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with Jimminy and gives him turn-people-into-scary-ass-dolls potion. Said potion is accidentally used on Gepetto's parents; the Blue Fairy turns Jimminy into an immortal cricket and he becomes Gepetto's best friend.
  3. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with James' parents to take one of their twins as a son for Mean King in exchange for a farm
  4. The Evil Queen has love and loses it because of Snow White not being able to keep a secret (possibly Snow's father is responsible as well)
  5. The Evil Queen marries Snow White's father
  6. Snow White's father finds the genie, frees him, and takes him back to his palace for yuks
  7. The Evil Queen fools the genie into thinking she loves him, and (with her father's help) gets him to murder Snow White's father for her.
  8. The genie finds out the Evil Queen is a lying liar who lies, and wishes himself into every mirror she looks into.
  9. Snow White realises that the Evil Queen is out to get her (since she seemed to be perfectly trusting of the Evil Queen earlier when she was mourning her dad, but knows the Evil Queen wants to kill her not too long after when the Huntsman takes her into the woods)
  10. The Evil Queen tells the Huntsman to kill Snow White; instead, he MacGyvers a help-summoning whistle for her and lets her go
  11. (This one might have happened before the Huntsman took Snow into the woods, but given that there was a vengeance associated with Snow White using the powder that we didn't see when she was writing the letter to the Evil Queen before the Hutnsman caught up with her in the woods, I would guess it happens at this stage of the story instead:) Snow White somehow acquires magic insect powder
  12. Snow White starts living rough in the woods and stealing gold and whatnot. At some point (either before or after her exile to the forest), Snow somehow helps Red Riding Hood "when no one else would" and they become friends. At some point after Snow White starts roughing it, Red seems to regularly bring helpful supplies to Snow White.
  13. James' twin brother is killed trying to impress Midas.
  14. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with Mean King to get James for him to replace the dead twin.
  15. Presumably around this time, Mean King tells Rumpelstiltskin the location of Cinderella's fairy godmother as payment for getting James for him. At some point thereafter, Rumpelstiltskin poofs said fairy godmother, takes control of her wand, and gets Cinderella to agree to giving him her first-born son in exchange for prettying her up and getting her to the ball.
  16. James kills a dragon and gets engaged to Abigail
  17. James sees his mother for the last time and gets her lucky ring to give to his future wife
  18. As James is making his way back from Midas' kingdom to his own, Snow ambushes his carriage and makes off with his mother's special ring. After a series of madcap adventures together, during which she uses up her insect powder, she gives him back his ring and they go their separate ways.
  19. Snow White and James can't stop thinking about each other.
  20. Snow White gets a forgetfulness potion from Rumpelstiltskin in exchange for some strands of her hair.
  21. James sends Snow White her a letter by dove professing his love.
  22. The Evil Queen kidnaps Hansel and Gretel's father and sends Hansel and Gretel to the blind witch's house to steal the poisoned apple
  23. Hansel and Gretel deliver the apple to the Evil Queen and she offers to adopt them as her children. They refuse, and she casts them out into the forest.
  24. Snow White shows up at Mean King's palace and is captured, meeting Grumpy in a dungeon. Stealthy breaks them out and is killed trying to escape. Snow White saves Grumpy and meets with Mean King. Mean King tells Snow White to tell James she doesn't love him, and lets her in on the fact that James is not really his son. Snow accordingly breaks James' heart and leaves the castle.
  25. The seven dwarves meet up with Snow as she leaves the castle and convince her not to use the forgetfulness potion immediately. This scene is viewed by the Evil Queen in her magic mirror.
  26. The Evil Queen speaks to Hansel and Gretel's father and discovers that the secret of their happiness is the bond of being a family
  27. For some reason, James decides Snow White does love him after all and calls off the wedding to Abigail without getting killed by Mean King. (There's a story to that in itself, I'm sure.) Snow White, however, has already taken the forgetfulness potion.
  28. At some point, the forgetfulness potion is reversed
  29. Snow White is poisoned by the Evil Queen, put into a coffin, and is brought back to life by a kiss from James
  30. Snow White and James get married (she would have been given his mother's ring by this time); during the wedding, the Evil Queen threatens everyone with the curse
  31. Cinderella and Thomas get married
  32. Snow White gets pregnant
  33. Cinderella gets pregnant
  34. (This might have happened before Snow White and/or Cinderella got pregnant, or after Rumpelstiltskin is captured, it's not clear:) The Evil Queen steals the curse back from her buddy Maleficent and tries it with no effect
  35. Cinderella, Thomas, and James conspire to imprison Rumpelstiltskin; Thomas disappears
  36. While pregnant, Snow freaks out about the Evil Queen's threat; she and James visit Rumpelstiltskin and find out that their daughter will be the saviour in exchange for telling Rumpelstiltskin the baby's name, and then plans begin to send Snow away from the curse via an enchanted tree wardrobe
  37. The Evil Queen visits Rumpelstiltskin to find out why his curse is a dud and, in exchange for a promise of being rich post-curse and the Evil Queen having to do anything he asks if he says please, he tells her that she needs to sacrifice the thing she loves most; she also discovers that the curse can be undone by Snow's baby
  38. The Evil Queen offs her dad
  39. The Evil Queen successfully enacts the curse as Snow White is in labour
  40. Emma is born; James sends her to safety via the enchanted tree wardrobe
  41. The Evil Queen arrives at James' palace, although not in time to grab the baby, and laughs maniacally as the curse takes effect
  42. Everyone in the fairy tale world is sent to Storybrook and time stops for them
  43. Around age 18, Emma gets knocked up with Henry. The father is likely a married man.
  44. At some point during the pregnancy, Emma is sent to jail.
  45. Henry is born in jail. Emma decides to give him up for adoption. At the same time, Regina decides she wants to adopt a baby. Rumplestiltskin is the gobetween and somehow acquires Emma's baby for Regina in exchange for an unknown favour from Regina.
  46. Over the next ten years, Henry is presumably the only person in storybrook who ages, since he was a baby when he got there and a ten-year-old ten years later. Given that Cinderella's pregnancy never advances in the 28 years when Storybrook time is frozen, and given that Hansel and Gretel are the same age they were when Emma comes to town as they were when the curse took effect, none of the Storybrook people can have children during the time freeze, nor would the Storybrook children ever age. This would probably be very conclusive proof for Henry that things are majorly effed up in his home town; why he never points this out to Emma or anyone as proof that he's not delusional is beyond me.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Sussing things out

Questions

  • Where did Snow get the insect powder? She didn't even hear of Rumpelstiltskin until after she'd had her adventure with James and used up the powder, so it must have come from somewhere else. How she acquired it is probably going to be an interesting little plot point.
  • Why did Regina want to adopt a baby? Especially if (as was implied in the pilot) she doesn't even love him? I suspect the answer to that will give us big insight into what she's all about. In the Hansel and Gretel episode, she got very emotional (for her) when the twins' father told her about the importance of family. I suspect adopting Henry was her trying to get back whatever she lost (family?) because of Snow.
  • One of the ingredients for the curse was hair from the most evil hearts in all the land (or something like that). However, Rumpelstiltskin was not one of the evil creatures gathered around the fire when EQ first tried to enact the curse. Can we infer from this that Rumpelstiltskin is not actually evil?
  • Is Emma going to have to die to fully reverse the curse?

Timeline

  1. Rumpelstiltskin kills the Dark One and acquires magic and power.
  2. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with Jimminy and gives him turn-people-into-scary-ass-dolls potion. Said potion is accidentally used on Gepetto's parents; the Blue Fairy turns Jimminy into an immortal cricket and he becomes Gepetto's best friend.
  3. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with James' parents to take one of their twins as a son for Mean King in exchange for a farm
  4. The Evil Queen has love and loses it because of Snow White not being able to keep a secret (possibly Snow's father is responsible as well)
  5. The Evil Queen marries Snow White's father
  6. The Evil Queen kills Snow White's father
  7. Snow White realises that the Evil Queen is out to get her (since she seemed to be perfectly trusting of the Evil Queen earlier when she was mourning her dad, but knows the Evil Queen wants to kill her not too long after when the Huntsman takes her into the woods)
  8. The Evil Queen tells the Huntsman to kill Snow White; instead, he MacGyvers a help-summoning whistle for her and lets her go
  9. (This one might have happened before the Huntsman took Snow into the woods, but given that there was a vengeance associated with Snow White using the powder that we didn't see when she was writing the letter to the Evil Queen before the Hutnsman caught up with her in the woods, I would guess it happens at this stage of the story instead:) Snow White somehow acquires magic insect powder
  10. Snow White starts living rough in the woods and stealing gold and whatnot. At some point (either before or after her exile to the forest), Snow somehow helps Red Riding Hood "when no one else would" and they become friends. At some point after Snow White starts roughing it, Red seems to regularly bring helpful supplies to Snow White.
  11. James' twin brother is killed trying to impress Midas.
  12. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with Mean King to get James for him to replace the dead twin.
  13. Presumably around this time, Mean King tells Rumpelstiltskin the location of Cinderella's fairy godmother as payment for getting James for him. At some point thereafter, Rumpelstiltskin poofs said fairy godmother, takes control of her wand, and gets Cinderella to agree to giving him her first-born son in exchange for prettying her up and getting her to the ball.
  14. James kills a dragon and gets engaged to Abigail
  15. James sees his mother for the last time and gets her lucky ring to give to his future wife
  16. As James is making his way back from Midas' kingdom to his own, Snow ambushes his carriage and makes off with his mother's special ring. After a series of madcap adventures together, during which she uses up her insect powder, she gives him back his ring and they go their separate ways.
  17. Snow White and James can't stop thinking about each other.
  18. Snow White gets a forgetfulness potion from Rumpelstiltskin in exchange for some strands of her hair.
  19. James sends Snow White her a letter by dove professing his love.
  20. The Evil Queen kidnaps Hansel and Gretel's father and sends Hansel and Gretel to the blind witch's house to steal the poisoned apple
  21. Hansel and Gretel deliver the apple to the Evil Queen and she offers to adopt them as her children. They refuse, and she casts them out into the forest.
  22. Snow White shows up at Mean King's palace and is captured, meeting Grumpy in a dungeon. Stealthy breaks them out and is killed trying to escape. Snow White saves Grumpy and meets with Mean King. Mean King tells Snow White to tell James she doesn't love him, and lets her in on the fact that James is not really his son. Snow accordingly breaks James' heart and leaves the castle.
  23. The seven dwarves meet up with Snow as she leaves the castle and convince her not to use the forgetfulness potion immediately. This scene is viewed by the Evil Queen in her magic mirror.
  24. The Evil Queen speaks to Hansel and Gretel's father and discovers that the secret of their happiness is the bond of being a family
  25. For some reason, James decides Snow White does love him after all and calls off the wedding to Abigail without getting killed by Mean King. (There's a story to that in itself, I'm sure.) Snow White, however, has already taken the forgetfulness potion.
  26. At some point, the forgetfulness potion is reversed
  27. Snow White is poisoned by the Evil Queen, put into a coffin, and is brought back to life by a kiss from James
  28. Snow White and James get married (she would have been given his mother's ring by this time); during the wedding, the Evil Queen threatens everyone with the curse
  29. Cinderella and Thomas get married
  30. Snow White gets pregnant
  31. Cinderella gets pregnant
  32. (This might have happened before Snow White and/or Cinderella got pregnant, or after Rumpelstiltskin is captured, it's not clear:) The Evil Queen steals the curse back from her buddy Maleficent and tries it with no effect
  33. Cinderella, Thomas, and James conspire to imprison Rumpelstiltskin; Thomas disappears
  34. While pregnant, Snow freaks out about the Evil Queen's threat; she and James visit Rumpelstiltskin and find out that their daughter will be the saviour in exchange for telling Rumpelstiltskin the baby's name, and then plans begin to send Snow away from the curse via an enchanted tree wardrobe
  35. The Evil Queen visits Rumpelstiltskin to find out why his curse is a dud and, in exchange for a promise of being rich post-curse and the Evil Queen having to do anything he asks if he says please, he tells her that she needs to sacrifice the thing she loves most; she also discovers that the curse can be undone by Snow's baby
  36. The Evil Queen offs her dad
  37. The Evil Queen successfully enacts the curse as Snow White is in labour
  38. Emma is born; James sends her to safety via the enchanted tree wardrobe
  39. The Evil Queen arrives at James' palace, although not in time to grab the baby, and laughs maniacally as the curse takes effect
  40. Everyone in the fairy tale world is sent to Storybrook and time stops for them
  41. Around age 18, Emma gets knocked up with Henry. The father is likely a married man.
  42. At some point during the pregnancy, Emma is sent to jail.
  43. Henry is born in jail. Emma decides to give him up for adoption. At the same time, Regina decides she wants to adopt a baby. Rumplestiltskin is the gobetween and somehow acquires Emma's baby for Regina in exchange for an unknown favour from Regina.
  44. Over the next ten years, Henry is presumably the only person in storybrook who ages, since he was a baby when he got there and a ten-year-old ten years later. Given that Cinderella's pregnancy never advances in the 28 years when Storybrook time is frozen, and given that Hansel and Gretel are the same age they were when Emma comes to town as they were when the curse took effect, none of the Storybrook people can have children during the time freeze, nor would the Storybrook children ever age. This would probably be very conclusive proof for Henry that things are majorly effed up in his home town; why he never points this out to Emma or anyone as proof that he's not delusional is beyond me.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Thoughts on "True North"

It would appear that Emma is actually stupid.

She knows she has a terrible enemy (Regina) who has proven multiple times that she is only too willing and able to dig up shit about Emma's past and spread it far and wide, regardless of the emotional cost to Henry. So how can Emma POSSIBLY think that her lie to Henry about Henry's biodad isn't going to come to light one day and destroy Henry's trust in her. Really? REALLY?!? Seriously, how hard is it to look the kid in the eye and tell him the truth: "Henry, I'm sorry, but although you are a wonderful kid, the truth about your father is very horrible and embarrassing and I'm not going to tell you about it. Maybe years from now I'll be ready to talk about it, but right now I'm not ready, and you are definitely not ready to hear it. Please respect that."

Argh.

Another thing is...she and Henry once again had a conversation about strangers coming in and out of Storybrook. Here, once again, was the perfect and screamingly obvious opportunity to point out to Henry that he was somehow brought to Storybrook as a baby to be Regina's child. (And not only would that make Henry another person who's come into Storybrook from the outside, but, since infants generally can't achieve intercity travel all by themselves, another person had to bring him.) And, once again, Emma did not bring up that salient point. Is this a matter over which the writers are trying to gloss because Henry's arrival in Storybrook is going to be very significant down the road and they don't want to talk about it yet, or do they really think their audience is so stupid that we're going to ignore that gaping chasm of inconsistency?

Verrry interesting that Mary Margaret now knows that Emma's supposed to be her "daughter". I just hope she doesn't let that fact ever slip to Regina. And I wonder what that expression was supposed to convey when she smelled the "Emma" blanket? Did she get a nanosecond glimpse of past life memory, perchance? And I couldn't help wondering whether some day she's going to come across the leftover yarn stored in an old box in her attic, or something.

I also didn't like how the storybook showed Hansel and Gretel looking waaaaay too much like the real Eva and Nicholas. It's supposed to be stylized drawings to allow Storybrook inhabitants to preserve the illusion that it's all fiction. Nearly-photographic illustrations kind of scream "It's real! It's real!" way too much.

I do like that Emma has brought another happy ending into the town. Little by little, the curse crumbles. Of course, the big happy ending (Snow White and Prince Charming) has yet to happen, but I suspect that story is such a huge deal that its happy resolution will be the end of the curse and, therefore, the conclusion of the entire show. Looks like we will progress on that storyline a bit next week, though.