Saturday, February 25, 2012

Crazy morals

Okay, a lot of behaviours really bugged me this episode, so I'm going to go through them one by one.

David (and James too)
David's actually been bugging me since the last episode, when he was clearly trying to have his cake and eat it, too. Celebrating Valentine's Day with two women? Staying with Kathryn and trying to "work things out" even though he's supposed to be so in love with Mary Margaret? Nope, sorry pal. Stringing two women along makes you a player, not a prince. I get that you're conflicted, but this is not decent behaviour. Flash forward to this week's episode, where he still doesn't come clean with Kathryn, and we have a guy who's acting like a real jerk. Add to that James' boasting about he's sooo brave, and the guy as a whole is really getting on my nerves.

Mary Margaret
In what universe does finally being "open and honest" about having a secret affair with a married man make it okay? Hint: it was never okay. She should have listened to Emma's original advice.

The town in general (and Granny specifically)
Given the way Mary Margaret is being ostracized and judged, it seems like Storybrooke has never had anyone in it ever have an affair before. Which I find really, really hard to believe.

Other things about this episode:

  • I knew the guy with the bag of gym balls that Kathryn bumped into was going to turn out to be Frederick. The camera lingered on him staring at her way too long for him to be an extra.
  • So Frederick was the one to discover Abigail's car and the lack of Abigail's car in it - what on earth was he doing driving on the road leading out of Storybrooke, anyway?
  • We got a shot of a can of red spray paint in Regina's desk as she opened it to get out David's letter, so obviously we're meant to understand that she was the one who painted "TRAMP" on Mary Margaret's car.
  • We got possibly another hint about Henry's dad, when Emma tells August that not knowing a guy's name before she goes out with him has, in her past, led to bad stuff like finding out later that he's married. From past episodes, we also know that Emma has had an affair with a married man. We also know that the real backstory about Henry's father is "horrible". It's very likely that Emma's past affair with a married man is the Henry-producing relationship. So, is that how it happened? He never told her his name before they shacked up?
  • I hope we'll see more of that magical water well again. Could come in very handy.
  • August Wayne Booth, eh? I wonder what the significance of that is.
  • Very interesting to see Abigail's back story. Originally when we were introduced to her, she just seemed like a spoiled, depthless snob. Turns out she was actually grieving her goldified lover. Nice to see she has depth. I do like how there always seems to be more to everyone than first meets the eye.

Revised timeline:

(Belle's story not in here yet because I don't know precisely where it goes.)

  1. Rumpelstiltskin kills the Dark One and acquires magic and power.
  2. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with Jimminy and gives him turn-people-into-scary-ass-dolls potion. Said potion is accidentally used on Gepetto's parents; the Blue Fairy turns Jimminy into an immortal cricket and he becomes Gepetto's best friend.
  3. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with James' parents to take one of their twins as a son for Mean King in exchange for a farm
  4. The Evil Queen has love and loses it because of Snow White not being able to keep a secret (possibly Snow's father is responsible as well)
  5. The Evil Queen marries Snow White's father
  6. Snow White's father finds the genie, frees him, and takes him back to his palace for yuks
  7. The Evil Queen fools the genie into thinking she loves him, and (with her father's help) gets him to murder Snow White's father for her.
  8. The genie finds out the Evil Queen is a lying liar who lies, and wishes himself into every mirror she looks into.
  9. Snow White realises that the Evil Queen is out to get her (since she seemed to be perfectly trusting of the Evil Queen earlier when she was mourning her dad, but knows the Evil Queen wants to kill her not too long after when the Huntsman takes her into the woods)
  10. The Evil Queen tells the Huntsman to kill Snow White; instead, he MacGyvers a help-summoning whistle for her and lets her go
  11. (This one might have happened before the Huntsman took Snow into the woods, but given that there was a vengeance associated with Snow White using the powder that we didn't see when she was writing the letter to the Evil Queen before the Hutnsman caught up with her in the woods, I would guess it happens at this stage of the story instead:) Snow White somehow acquires magic insect powder
  12. Snow White starts living rough in the woods and stealing gold and whatnot. At some point (either before or after her exile to the forest), Snow somehow helps Red Riding Hood "when no one else would" and they become friends. At some point after Snow White starts roughing it, Red seems to regularly bring helpful supplies to Snow White.
  13. James' twin brother is killed trying to impress Midas.
  14. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with Mean King to get James for him to replace the dead twin.
  15. Presumably around this time, Mean King tells Rumpelstiltskin the location of Cinderella's fairy godmother as payment for getting James for him. At some point thereafter, Rumpelstiltskin poofs said fairy godmother, takes control of her wand, and gets Cinderella to agree to giving him her first-born son in exchange for prettying her up and getting her to the ball.
  16. James kills a dragon and gets engaged to Abigail
  17. James sees his mother for the last time and gets her lucky ring to give to his future wife
  18. As James is making his way back from Midas' kingdom to his own, Snow ambushes his carriage and makes off with his mother's special ring. After a series of madcap adventures together, during which she uses up her insect powder, she gives him back his ring and they go their separate ways.
  19. Snow White and James can't stop thinking about each other.
  20. Snow White gets a forgetfulness potion from Rumpelstiltskin in exchange for some strands of her hair.
  21. James sends Snow White her a letter by dove professing his love.
  22. The Evil Queen kidnaps Hansel and Gretel's father and sends Hansel and Gretel to the blind witch's house to steal the poisoned apple
  23. Hansel and Gretel deliver the apple to the Evil Queen and she offers to adopt them as her children. They refuse, and she casts them out into the forest.
  24. Snow White shows up at Mean King's palace and is captured, meeting Grumpy in a dungeon. Stealthy breaks them out and is killed trying to escape. Snow White saves Grumpy and meets with Mean King. Mean King tells Snow White to tell James she doesn't love him, and lets her in on the fact that James is not really his son. Snow accordingly breaks James' heart and leaves the castle.
  25. The seven dwarves meet up with Snow as she leaves the castle and convince her not to use the forgetfulness potion immediately. This scene is viewed by the Evil Queen in her magic mirror.
  26. The Evil Queen speaks to Hansel and Gretel's father and discovers that the secret of their happiness is the bond of being a family
  27. Abigail tells James about her past love, Frederick. James battles the siren of Lake Nostos. This allows Abigail to free Frederick and motivates James to try and win Snow White's love.
  28. It becomes general knowledge that James and Abigail's engagement is off.
  29. James goes to some woodland area trying to find Snow White. (I guess a little bird must have told him to go there.) Red Riding Hood tells him she's gone. King George, furious over the broken engagement, shows up with his posse and tries to kill James, who grabs Red Riding Hood and flees on horseback. Pursuit ensues. (Given that they're not killed, they must work it out somehow so that James can end up marrying Snow White and still have a castle to live in - clearly that's a story in itself.)
  30. Snow White, however, has already taken the forgetfulness potion.
  31. At some point, the forgetfulness potion is reversed (Water from Lake Nostos, maybe?)
  32. Snow White is poisoned by the Evil Queen, put into a coffin, and is brought back to life by a kiss from James
  33. Snow White and James get married (she would have been given his mother's ring by this time); during the wedding, the Evil Queen threatens everyone with the curse
  34. Cinderella and Thomas get married
  35. Snow White gets pregnant
  36. Cinderella gets pregnant
  37. (This might have happened before Snow White and/or Cinderella got pregnant, or after Rumpelstiltskin is captured, it's not clear:) The Evil Queen steals the curse back from her buddy Maleficent and tries it with no effect
  38. Cinderella, Thomas, and James conspire to imprison Rumpelstiltskin; Thomas disappears
  39. While pregnant, Snow freaks out about the Evil Queen's threat; she and James visit Rumpelstiltskin and find out that their daughter will be the saviour in exchange for telling Rumpelstiltskin the baby's name, and then plans begin to send Snow away from the curse via an enchanted tree wardrobe
  40. The Evil Queen visits Rumpelstiltskin to find out why his curse is a dud and, in exchange for a promise of being rich post-curse and the Evil Queen having to do anything he asks if he says please, he tells her that she needs to sacrifice the thing she loves most; she also discovers that the curse can be undone by Snow's baby
  41. The Evil Queen offs her dad
  42. The Evil Queen successfully enacts the curse as Snow White is in labour
  43. Emma is born; James sends her to safety via the enchanted tree wardrobe
  44. The Evil Queen arrives at James' palace, although not in time to grab the baby, and laughs maniacally as the curse takes effect
  45. Everyone in the fairy tale world is sent to Storybrook and time stops for them
  46. Around age 18, Emma gets knocked up with Henry. The father is likely a married man.
  47. At some point during the pregnancy, Emma is sent to jail.
  48. Henry is born in jail. Emma decides to give him up for adoption. At the same time, Regina decides she wants to adopt a baby. Rumplestiltskin is the gobetween and somehow acquires Emma's baby for Regina in exchange for an unknown favour from Regina.
  49. Over the next ten years, Henry is presumably the only person in storybrook who ages, since he was a baby when he got there and a ten-year-old ten years later. Given that Cinderella's pregnancy never advances in the 28 years when Storybrook time is frozen, and given that Hansel and Gretel are the same age they were when Emma comes to town as they were when the curse took effect, none of the Storybrook people can have children during the time freeze, nor would the Storybrook children ever age. This would probably be very conclusive proof for Henry that things are majorly effed up in his home town; why he never points this out to Emma or anyone as proof that he's not delusional is beyond me.

No comments:

Post a Comment