Thursday, March 15, 2012

Peter and the wolf


So Regina's been doing her stealing-people's-hearts thing again, but instead of storing this one in her vault, she buried it near the toll bridge. Lots of questions here.

  • Whose heart is it? We're meant to think it's Kathryn's of course, but I guess we have to wait for the DNA tests to come back on that one.
  • Even if it is Kathryn's heart, does that necessarily mean she's dead? After all, Regina had Graham's heart in her vault, and he was still alive.
  • It would seem that Regina is trying to frame Mary Margaret by putting her prints on the box, but is that really what's happening? How could Regina seriously expect anyone would find the box in order for any framing to actually work?
  • Maybe that was just Regina's special hiding place for that particular heart, and Mary Margaret's prints are on it because she touched the box as Snow White during her time in fairytale land?
  • What's the deal with David's weird blackouts? How did he get that cut on his head?

Also, if Red's grandfather-in-werewolf-form looked deeply into Granny's eyes and liked her enough to mark her instead of killing her, so he could come back later and change her to be his mate, why didn't Red do the same thing with Peter? I suppose technically, since no one actually checked Peter's pulse, that maybe that's just what she did, but he seemed pretty bloody and she seemed to be snacking on him rather a lot for him to be just "marked".

I also find it interesting that a lot of the people who were at Snow White and Prince James' what-the-heck-do-we-do-about-this-curse council were "picked up" by Snow White during her adventures - first the dwarves, now Granny and Red. Does this mean we can expect a future episode where she'll strike up friendships with Gepetto and Jiminy? Is this why Prince James still managed to have a castle and followers even though King George tried to kill him - because he and Snow acquired friends through their wonderfulness and brought them in to be members of their own kingdom? Are they actually rulers of some kind of rebel group of fairytale land folk?

And finally, I think Meghan Ory (Red/Ruby) might just be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Her face is exquisite. If I were a man (and straight), she would totally be on my List.

Revised timeline:

  1. Rumpelstiltskin kills the Dark One and acquires magic and power.
  2. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with Jimminy and gives him turn-people-into-scary-ass-dolls potion. Said potion is accidentally used on Gepetto's parents; the Blue Fairy turns Jimminy into an immortal cricket and he becomes Gepetto's best friend.
  3. Around this time (a little more than 60 years before the curse), Granny's father and brothers are slaughtered by a werewolf, who then bites Granny. Later, he returns and changes her into a werewolf. They marry, and go on to have a daughter who is also a werewolf. She is later killed by a hunting party, but not before she gives birth to Red, who starts becoming a werewolf at the full moon at the age of 13. From a wizard, Granny buys a red cloak that will prevent Red from changing into a werewolf. Also at some point, Granny's husband dies, as she is later referred to as "Widow Lucas". Granny's werewolfness eventually fades away, although she retains some things, like tracking ability (sense of smell).
  4. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with James' parents to take one of their twins as a son for King George in exchange for a farm
  5. The Evil Queen has love and loses it because of Snow White not being able to keep a secret (possibly Snow's father is responsible as well)
  6. The Evil Queen marries Snow White's father
  7. (Not sure exactly where in the timeline this one goes, but this seems a good guess as it is supposed to occur one year before the Nova-and-Grumpy story) Fairy-godmother-in-training Nova accidentally spills some fairy dust, and it lands on a dwarf egg. The egg immediately hatches and the dwarf inside it is born prematurely, looking around for Nova, whose face he saw while inside the egg. He is informed by another dwarf, Bossy, that dwarves do not fall in love, and, along with his seven brothers (Happy, Doc, Dopey, Sneezy, Bashful, Sneaky and Sleepy) who hatch a little bit later, is given basic dwarf orientation before being given a pick-axe which christens him "Dreamy" and is then sent to mine diamonds and fairy dust.
  8. Snow White's father finds the genie, frees him, and takes him back to his palace for yuks
  9. The Evil Queen fools the genie into thinking she loves him, and (with her father's help) gets him to murder Snow White's father for her.
  10. The genie finds out the Evil Queen is a lying liar who lies, and wishes himself into every mirror she looks into.
  11. Snow White realises that the Evil Queen is out to get her (since she seemed to be perfectly trusting of the Evil Queen earlier when she was mourning her dad, but knows the Evil Queen wants to kill her not too long after when the Huntsman takes her into the woods)
  12. The Evil Queen tells the Huntsman to kill Snow White; instead, he MacGyvers a help-summoning whistle for her and lets her go
  13. (This one might have happened before the Huntsman took Snow into the woods, but given that there was a vengeance associated with Snow White using the powder that we didn't see when she was writing the letter to the Evil Queen before the Huntsman caught up with her in the woods, I would guess it happens at this stage of the story instead:) Snow White somehow acquires magic insect powder
  14. Snow White starts living rough in the woods; in the winter she hides out one night in Granny and Red's barn during the full moon and is found by Red the next morning. Also that morning, Red and Snow discover that the wolf has massacred a bunch of men who were trying to kill it.
  15. Red tells Snow White about the man she loves (Peter), and they decide to track the wolf during the daytime. Red turns out to be a fabulous tracker. The wolf tracks turn into boot tracks and lead to Red's window. Red and Snow White conclude that the wolf is a werewolf and that in its human form, it's Peter.
  16. Snow and Red switch cloaks so that Red can warn Peter and chain him to a tree to keep him from killing or being killed
  17. Granny discovers the ruse and confesses that the werewolf is actually Red and that the red cloak stops her from turning; Granny and Snow run out to find Red, but she is already munching on Peter. Granny drops the werewolf with a silver-tipped arrow and Snow throws the red cloak over her to change her back into Red. As the huntsmen close in, Snow spirits Red away, leaving Granny to face the music. (She obviously ends up okay, since she and Red are reunited in Prince Charming's castle.)
  18. Snow White starts stealing gold and whatnot. (She seems to have picked up some badassery from Granny.) At some point after Snow White starts roughing it, Red seems to regularly bring helpful supplies to Snow White.
  19. James' twin brother is killed trying to impress Midas.
  20. Rumpelstiltskin makes a deal with King George to get James for him to replace the dead twin.
  21. Presumably around this time, King George tells Rumpelstiltskin the location of Cinderella's fairy godmother as payment for getting James for him. At some point thereafter, Rumpelstiltskin poofs said fairy godmother, takes control of her wand, and gets Cinderella to agree to giving him her first-born son in exchange for prettying her up and getting her to the ball.
  22. James kills a dragon and gets engaged to Abigail
  23. James sees his mother for the last time and gets her lucky ring to give to his future wife
  24. As James is making his way back from Midas' kingdom to his own, Snow ambushes his carriage and makes off with his mother's special ring. After a series of madcap adventures together, during which she uses up her insect powder, she gives him back his ring and they go their separate ways.
  25. Snow White and James can't stop thinking about each other.
  26. Snow White gets a forgetfulness potion from Rumpelstiltskin in exchange for some strands of her hair.
  27. James sends Snow White her a letter by dove professing his love.
  28. The Evil Queen kidnaps Hansel and Gretel's father and sends Hansel and Gretel to the blind witch's house to steal the poisoned apple
  29. Hansel and Gretel deliver the apple to the Evil Queen and she offers to adopt them as her children. They refuse, and she casts them out into the forest.
  30. (This part and the rest of the Belle story and the Grumpy-and-Nova story may actually take place earlier, but this placement seems as good a spot as any; I'll certainly move it if more information comes up that makes its placement more specific) The Ogre Wars are going extremely badly for some mayor guy. He makes a deal with Rumpelstiltskin to solve his ogre problem, in return for which his daughter Belle agrees to be Rumpelstiltskin's servant for life.
  31. Belle gets to know Rumpelstiltskin and starts bringing him out of his shell. In the process, she chips one of his teacups. She also discovers that he had a son, but fails miserably to get him to ever talk about it. Chemistry between the two of them builds. At one point, Belle's old fiancé tries to "rescue" her, but Rumpelstiltskin turns him into a rose and gives it to Belle, who reveals that her betrothal was purely for political reasons. Eventually, Rumpelstiltskin sends Belle to market for him, fully believing she'll take advantage of this freedom to escape.
  32. On the road to or from the market, Belle meets up with the Evil Queen, who tells her that true love's kiss breaks any curse.
  33. Belle goes back to Rumpelstiltskin (which surprises the hell out of him) and kisses him. This makes Rumpelstiltskin start to change back into human form; he freaks out and thus stops the transformation. Belle triumphantly tells him about true love's kiss and he freaks out even more. He knows that the Evil Queen is behind this (wanting to eliminate his powers so she will have less magical competition, according to him) and believes that Belle is also out to get him. He has a tremendously impressive temper tantrum and kicks her out of his castle for good.
  34. About a year after his birth, Dreamy sees Nova and they have instant chemistry. Nova asks Grumpy out on a date to see fireflies, which he doesn't recognize as a come-on.
  35. Belle, drowning her sorrows over Rumpelstiltskin in drink, meets up with Dreamy at a bar and gives him a clue-by-four upside the head that he's in love and that Nova was actually asking him out.
  36. Nova arranges for a boat so she and Dreamy can sail around the world.
  37. Dreamy sneaks out to run away with Nova but is waylaid at the last minute by the Blue Fairy and Bossy, who convince him to forget being with Nova.
  38. Dreamy meets up with Nova, who shows him the boat. He dumps her and heads back to the mine, where he is re-named Grumpy.
  39. (This part may happen before Belle meets Dreamy in the bar, it's not clear) The Evil Queen pays a visit to Rumpelstiltskin following his rejection of Belle and tells him (lying, obviously, but Rumpelstiltskin believes her) that Belle's been cast out by her father and killed. Rumpelstiltskin is devastated.
  40. (This part may happen at any point between now and the Curse) Something happens to Belle in fairytale land which causes her to end up in a secret psych ward in the Storybrooke hospital once the Curse is enacted.
  41. Grumpy is cast into King George's dungeon for some reason.
  42. Snow White shows up at King George's palace and is captured, meeting Grumpy in a dungeon. Stealthy breaks them out and is killed trying to escape. Snow White saves Grumpy and meets with King George. King George tells Snow White to tell James she doesn't love him, and lets her in on the fact that James is not really his son. Snow accordingly breaks James' heart and leaves the castle.
  43. The seven dwarves meet up with Snow as she leaves the castle and convince her not to use the forgetfulness potion immediately. This scene is viewed by the Evil Queen in her magic mirror.
  44. The Evil Queen speaks to Hansel and Gretel's father and discovers that the secret of their happiness is the bond of being a family
  45. (This could have happened earlier or later than this point, but I'm sticking it in here for convenience) The Evil Queen acquires the curse from Rumpelstiltskin (doubtless in a deal of some kind) and eventually trades it to Malificent in exchange for a poison to kill Snow White.
  46. Abigail tells James about her past love, Frederick. James battles the siren of Lake Nostos. This allows Abigail to free Frederick and motivates James to try and win Snow White's love.
  47. It becomes general knowledge that James and Abigail's engagement is off.
  48. James goes to some woodland area trying to find Snow White. (I guess a little bird must have told him to go there.) Red Riding Hood tells him she's gone. King George, furious over the broken engagement, shows up with his posse and tries to kill James, who grabs Red Riding Hood and flees on horseback. Pursuit ensues. (Given that they're not killed, they must work it out somehow so that James can end up marrying Snow White and still have a castle to live in - clearly that's a story in itself.)
  49. Snow White, however, has already taken the forgetfulness potion.
  50. At some point, the forgetfulness potion is reversed (Water from Lake Nostos, maybe?)
  51. Snow White is poisoned by the Evil Queen, put into a coffin, and is brought back to life by a kiss from James
  52. Snow White and James get married (she would have been given his mother's ring by this time); during the wedding, the Evil Queen threatens everyone with the curse
  53. Cinderella and Thomas get married
  54. Snow White gets pregnant
  55. Cinderella gets pregnant
  56. (This might have happened before Snow White and/or Cinderella got pregnant, or after Rumpelstiltskin is captured, it's not clear:) The Evil Queen steals the curse back from her buddy Maleficent and tries it with no effect
  57. Cinderella, Thomas, and James conspire to imprison Rumpelstiltskin; Thomas disappears
  58. While pregnant, Snow freaks out about the Evil Queen's threat; she and James visit Rumpelstiltskin and find out that their daughter will be the saviour in exchange for telling Rumpelstiltskin the baby's name, and then plans begin to send Snow away from the curse via an enchanted tree wardrobe
  59. The Evil Queen visits Rumpelstiltskin to find out why his curse is a dud and, in exchange for a promise of being rich post-curse and the Evil Queen having to do anything he asks if he says please, he tells her that she needs to sacrifice the thing she loves most; she also discovers that the curse can be undone by Snow's baby
  60. The Evil Queen offs her dad
  61. The Evil Queen successfully enacts the curse as Snow White is in labour
  62. Emma is born; James sends her to safety via the enchanted tree wardrobe
  63. The Evil Queen arrives at James' palace, although not in time to grab the baby, and laughs maniacally as the curse takes effect
  64. Everyone in the fairy tale world is sent to Storybrook and time stops for them
  65. Around age 18, Emma gets knocked up with Henry. The father is likely a married man.
  66. At some point during the pregnancy, Emma is sent to jail.
  67. Henry is born in jail. Emma decides to give him up for adoption. At the same time, Regina decides she wants to adopt a baby. Rumplestiltskin is the gobetween and somehow acquires Emma's baby for Regina in exchange for an unknown favour from Regina.
  68. Over the next ten years, Henry is presumably the only person in storybrook who ages, since he was a baby when he got there and a ten-year-old ten years later. Given that Cinderella's pregnancy never advances in the 28 years when Storybrook time is frozen, and given that Hansel and Gretel are the same age they were when Emma comes to town as they were when the curse took effect, none of the Storybrook people can have children during the time freeze, nor would the Storybrook children ever age. This would probably be very conclusive proof for Henry that things are majorly effed up in his home town; why he never points this out to Emma or anyone as proof that he's not delusional is beyond me.

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